From Chaos to Clarity: Mike Bucci's Journey

In this raw and unfiltered episode of the Drink O'Clock Podcast, Rob sits down with his cousin, Mike Bucci, for an unforgettable conversation about addiction, redemption, and resilience. From a turbulent childhood filled with drugs, violence, and wild family stories, to a 22-year career as a correctional officer, Mike shares it all—including some jaw-dropping tales from inside the prison walls. Recently sober and rebuilding his life after a brutal divorce and a stint in a psychiatric facility, Mike opens up about the darkest chapters of his past and the clarity he's now finding in sobriety, stand-up comedy, and new love. Hilarious, heartbreaking, and brutally honest—this is the most personal episode yet.

Transcript

Music Intro

Rob Valincius: and we're fucking recording. This is the Drink O Clock podcast. I'm your host, Rob Valencia. Now, this is a special podcast co for a couple reasons. One, um, you are the first family member that I've had on the show. Um, and so that's, that's El Nuero Uno, uh, and number two, uh, we are doing it on the. Birthday of our beloved aunt I, who would've been 64, Mike.

Mike Buchi: Uh, yes sir. Yep. 64 

Rob Valincius: would've been 64 today. And, uh, RIP We miss you. And, uh, you know, I dawned all of my Eagles gear in her honor. 'cause I knew she was a big fucking Eagles fan. Uh, and it's a shame she didn't get to see these fucking Super Bowls. I know. Um, I feel like she helped, she would've been a blessed, 

Mike Buchi: I feel she was in the front, front row watching bro.

Had to be, had to be her and my pop. Oh, 

Rob Valincius: oh. Had to be, 

Mike Buchi: and he's laughing like a parrot. She's like, shut the hell up, pat.

Rob Valincius: But listen, I, I have, uh, my cousin Mike Bucci on the show. Welcome to the show, brother. 

Mike Buchi: Thank you, man. Honor and a pleasure. 

Rob Valincius: So, you know, like I said before we hit record. Uh, this is the first podcast that I've never had to really prepare for most of the time, of the people. I don't know. Is who I'm interviewing.

Uh, but I will say in honor of aunt, I, I am drinking this episode. So, um, I haven't been drinking, uh, during the week I cut it off, but figure, uh, for the show, um, it's also a holiday weekend, so, you know. I know, uh, you had recently, uh, you're sober now, right? 

Mike Buchi: I've been sober. 17 days.

Rob Valincius: So if you don't mind saying 

Mike Buchi: absolutely mind. Yeah. What, what, 

Rob Valincius: what, what was your, 

what, what was your, what was your, uh, what was your poison, bro? Was a little bit of everything. What, what 

Mike Buchi: was it? Um, you know, the wacky to tobacco. I like the pens, I like the edibles. And then you like to top it off with some teeters and tonics with, uh, shots of, uh, petro.

And now I like to go play pool wherever it was, and sing, sing karaoke. Now I do sing karaoke and play pool. I just drink water and I'm learning. I'm sorry, go ahead. 

Rob Valincius: No, so saying, so basically you're, uh, you're 

going cold Turkey. That's good. 

Mike Buchi: Yeah, I've been clean for the first time in 35 years. 'cause I started getting fucked up at 10 years old with my parents.

On New Year's Eve, we start drinking Jesus Christ. Yeah, bro. Yeah. Yeah. I remember my parents were kids raising me, so like, we used to, we used to blaze up together. We used to listen to Pink Floyd. We'd go out to dinner together. They were my parents, but they were my friends too. Yeah, 

Rob Valincius: yeah. You guys had a very 

close relationship.

Oh yeah. 

Mike Buchi: Them dude. 

Rob Valincius: Yeah. So, so walk me back. Let's, let's, let's start from the beginning here. Okay. Um, talk me through Young Buch. Okay. Um, you know, and let's let, let my audience get a feel for who you were growing up. You want, if you got a, I know you got a couple stories locked and loaded. Oh yeah. Just anything from your, your, your younger years that you think would be prevalent and,

Mike Buchi: uh, I was, I was a 14 year.

I was a 14-year-old young punk who thought I knew everything. I had the hats with the fake diamond studs in it. I had the Raiders Parker jacket. I thought I was something. I even had my hair platted. Like I thought I was a straight up gangster. But you know what, I was a bad dude though. I mean, I got respect and people knew not to mess with me.

I was a humble dude. I was friendly, but like if you messed with me, it was going down and you know, you can ask your mom. I was always getting suspended and like anybody that messed with Brian, I beat up. I remember this kid beat Brian. Beat Brian up, and I beat the brakes off from in this crossing guard. I came over and whacked me upside there with a stop sign, bro.

I was cracking the fuck up. I was like, this old bat just hit me with a fucking stop sign. Like, what the fuck? And like that's, that's just how it was, man. Like always getting in fights and just growing up in northtown is what it was, man. Like you had the fight to keep your jacket out, jumped from my jacket, you know?

That's just how it was. And it was survival to. It was a dog eat dog, girl. So you had to be tough. And, you know, I was a smart ass. I, I got kicked outta school and expelled for, uh, I beat this kid up when I was in the principal's office. It was snow. And I dismissed school as the principal. They suspended me pending expulsion for sighting A riot.

Yeah. That's when he wanted to send me to Roosevelt, but my dad wouldn't let Wow. Yeah. My dad was gonna send me to Valley Forge Military Academy and my mom wouldn't let him. Thank God. You know, my, you know, aunt, my mom rocked out me. If it was for my mom, bro, I would've been at the military academy. Most definitely.

But then, um, you know, I got through that 

Rob Valincius: would've been a weird alternate universe, bro. If, if you went to the military academy, 

Mike Buchi: I would've got kicked out. Come on. I would've, I would've done everything. I coulda get kicked out. I would've done whatever. I wouldn't stayed there. And, um, you know, and he beat, he, he used to beat the brakes off me, bro.

And I, I would hide at your mom's house. I remember hiding in the closet while he was looking for me in your house because he was like, when he went off, he went off and like, I remember mama was like, do not come home. I'll let you know when it's safe. He'd be driving around with a flashlight looking for me, bro.

Like he was, yeah. I put them through a lot. And then, um, that's old school. Yeah. And then, you know, uh, got my shit together. Graduated high school, had a passion for being culinary arts. Went, went up to New York to get away from everything. Hoping and praying. I got a dork as a roommate. Of course, I get a drugged out DJ who does raves on in the, on the weekend in New York City.

My parents didn't even pull out the parking lot. He, he gets a bag, a gram of coke. You do Coke. I. I'm fucked. My first night in New York, I'm doing ecstasy in this fricking abandoned house in New York City. Those floors, one floor was, people were shooting up heroin, smoking crack, next floor people were doing ecstasy and hooking up fucking in the hallway.

It was what? And two months later I got kicked out. 'cause I was, I went to a class for like a week and I was there. I was just up there partying and spending money and my dad wanted to kill me. He said, if it wasn't for your mother, I leave you up there, you little pecker head. And he came and picked me up and with a brand new car, he's like, you like this car That was your mom's.

We were gonna help pay for school. But guess what? Now you're gonna pay for it and you're not even getting in this fucking car. See that U-Haul your shit, you're gonna ride back there. He made me ride the back of U-Haul and shame. He's like, if you gotta go to bear from bang on the U-Haul. Yeah bro. I was like, oh.

And then like when I came home, he was just so disappointed in me. Like I remember being, I would be sleeping and I woke up and he would just be standing over me watching me sleep up. I was like, is he contemplating killing me? I was like, what's up? And he was like, walk out of the rude shit. Like he hated me, bro.

And then the last straw for him I think was, uh, this girl, Dana, who I was dating back in the day, you know, she was a gem too. I mean, you know, she was a pill popping coke head like me. She was a female version of me, me and her we're a train wreck together. We were like Ozzy and Harry. It's just a mess. Well anyway, this dumb bitch, she knews where my room is.

We hooked up. She goes, use the bathroom Before I know, I hear screaming. It's my mom and my dad. She got in bed when my parents thinking it was my room. My dad's flipping out this tiny white, my mom's fucking crying. I'm tired of your bullshit. Like it was, they were, they were fed up of me, bro. Fed up. And then he pretty much had to talk to me, told me I was a down street trash.

I was a piece of shit. And he said that in a month, if my urine was not clean, he was, and I wasn't gonna go work at the prison, he was going to fucking disown me and make sure that I got the bucci tattoo on my arm covered up. 'cause I'm an embarrassment to. That hit my soul, bro. And I literally sobered up and went to be a correction officer, and I had a great career for 22 years and I just retired back in July.

Rob Valincius: Damn, bro. Yeah, your dad definitely taught you some, some, some crazy lessons. Well, he was, was old, old school with the lessons. He was very 

Mike Buchi: old school, but he was very smart and he was very tough and he always had great advice. He was great with finances. He told me to open IRA when I started at the county, I did it.

He's like, don't touch it. I still have it in 10 years. It's gonna be worth a decent amount of money. And I've never done it if it wasn't for him, you know, he was awesome. So was my mom. I mean, I was truly blessed to have two awesome parents. 

Rob Valincius: Oh yeah, dude, your parents are great. I, I think the only, the only time I ever got into an argument with your dad, and you know me, I'm pretty even keel.

Oh yeah. Uh, was when was when, uh, Tom kicked me out. 

Mike Buchi: I didn't even know that that happened. Kicked 

Rob Valincius: me out for, 

Mike Buchi: oh yeah, that's right. I do remember that. I 

Rob Valincius: did. Yeah, Tom, Tom kicked me out. I had no place to stay. Um, and it was because I had just bought, well, you know, I broke up with Danielle. 

Mike Buchi: Yeah. 

Rob Valincius: And I finally was like, like going outta my shell because, you know, I met, I met, uh, T dog over here and, uh, you know, we were just being kids.

Like I, dude, I grew up real fast. You know me. I was working since I was 14, so, 

Mike Buchi: bro, I was you when you were 

Rob Valincius: engaged, when you, 

Mike Buchi: I'm sorry, go ahead. My bad. 

Rob Valincius: No, I, I was, I was enga. No, it's, I was, when I was engaged to Danielle, I didn't do anything. Like, I, I didn't, you know, I turned 21, I'd go out, you know, every now and again, but like, I didn't really party.

And then, um, you know, when I met her, she kind of brought me outta my shell. And then we, we started to, I started to have a ton of fun. Bought a freaking, um, the fuck was that, uh, the Camaro? I bought the Camaro. I saw the movie Transformers. Wasn't it run? Uh, well, I bought the Camaro after I totaled. Yeah, I bought the Camaro after I totaled the three 50 Z, which was the first time I even, uh, hung out with Taja.

But we didn't do anything. We were, we were just hanging out as friends or whatever. And uh, I totaled that and then I bought the Camaro, and then after I bought the Camaro, I get, I, I don't know what the deal was, but I guess Tom was just upset that I wasn't paying rent. I mean, the way I remember it then again, I remember I was 22, I was 23 when I was, I'll tell you what I remember, I remember when 

Mike Buchi: you met, I met, I met, met Tasha with you at Re's.

You guys weren't even dating yet. You said you knew her when you got, you met her when you guys were going to Monko together. 

Rob Valincius: Yeah. Yeah. We met, 

Mike Buchi: I remember met in, I remember, bro, you were dating Danielle. But yeah, she was at Reed's and like she was coming over and I could just tell, she was like, I remember telling you, I was like, I think that girl's in here, you're, you were like, nah.

And like literally a couple months later you guys were dating. 

Rob Valincius: Yeah. I mean, look, it was, uh, you know, it was one of those things I just, I, I wasn't ready for, Danielle wanted like the. The kids and the wedding and all that shit like then and there and like, she was not mature enough at that time, and I definitely wasn't.

Yeah. So, you know, it came to a point where I'm just like, look, I'm not ready for this. Like, I just want to be 23. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like Yeah. And, um, you know, and, and like, look, you, you always still have love for like the person, like, you know, I was 

Mike Buchi: the very first person marry. You're so 

Rob Valincius: like, yeah, you always, it's always there.

But like, you know, you know, like I, I know I made a, a decision that they, right. Yeah. I was, I was comfortable. 

Mike Buchi: You know, when it's right. You know what I mean? When it's right, it's right. You just know. But then I also was telling my 

Rob Valincius: mom ahead of time, 

Mike Buchi: I thought I be the right one. And look what happened to me.

Now I'm single. 

Rob Valincius: It's true. I mean, I, I was telling my, know what I mean? I was telling my mom ahead of time, you know, uh, I was, I, I, we were having late night talks at like 11, 12 o'clock at night. I'm like, mom, I don't know if this is. Me, I don't know if this is gonna work. Like, what, what should I do? Like, am my, you know, my mom and Danielle were close.

Yeah. So of course my mom was always like, ah, well it's gonna be fine. And, and, you know, it just didn't work out, you know? And that's, that's the way it is. And I'm happy now. You know, I, I, I made the right decision. Yeah. Dude. You with 

Mike Buchi: Tasha for what now? Like 15 years. 

Rob Valincius: Long time we've been together longer. You, you'll, you'll always laugh at this.

We've been together and we've gone to people's weddings. We've watched them get married, then we watched them get divorced, and then we go to the remarried wedding. It's like, that's, that's a long we've been together. 

Mike Buchi: Wow. You went to a remarried wedding? Yeah. That does happen. 

Rob Valincius: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. 

Mike Buchi: I tell you what, ain't gonna happen to this guy.

I am never saying I do again, I don't, I just want somebody that had that to, to hang out with, party, hook up with. That's literally it, bro. I'm done this, this situation. Never people never, bro. People always 

Rob Valincius: ask us, dude. People always ask us like, why aren't you married? Why aren't you having kids? And it's like, why not?

Like muddy the water. Like there's no, it's, it's a piece of paper, bro. Not keep buying her diamond rings, 

Mike Buchi: it's a piece of paper. That's it. 

Rob Valincius: She's got two diamond rings. I'll get her another one and we'll just keep adding on. She'll look like Mr. T she'll, you know, and yeah. You know, there's no reason for us unless before ain't got that really need to, unless like, we really need to, like, if there comes a time where we really need to, okay.

I mean, at this point mm-hmm. We we're basically married, you know. Um, but yeah, so I mean like it's one of those things where that's the, uh, your dad, that, that night that I got kicked out, I was, you know, Tasha was helping me talk to her mom. And her mom let me stay here where basically I've been living ever since.

Uh, or I stayed at, maybe, I actually stayed at Uncle Roy's the first night or two. Wow. And eventually her mom let me stay here. Yeah. Uncle Roy let me stay there. And I think it's kind of crazy how. Time is like, I think, I think Tom knows he made a mistake. Like he knows, like he should have never done that.

Um, because, well, he's 

Mike Buchi: all, he's also bipolar like me too to bipolar people if they're not on their meds, you know, shit goes south as, and he, he went through spurts where he didn't take medication. I remember my dad punched him. Remember? 

Rob Valincius: Yeah. Yeah. I remember. I 

should have never, I should have never got that car, you know?

Uh, you were young, bro. That was a mistake of my, but I was also, yeah, I was also a kid. And, um, you look at me, bro. I think having 

Mike Buchi: a cool ass cars, I remember you saying, I can't wait till I'm your age and I can get nice cars. Like, dude, that's what it was all about. Like, if you worked hard, you should play hard.

I don't, you weren't wrong for that. I don't think so. 

Rob Valincius: Yeah. Yeah. I mean, looking back, I mean, I, I, I, I feel bad. I, I probably could have handled it better too, but I. You know, whatever. Live and learn. I mean, it is, it's history now, you know? Yeah, yeah. Um, so, so, so, um, all, so let's get back to you, brother. So, okay.

You, uh, you, you, you, uh, you're at 22 years prison. 

Mike Buchi: Yeah. 

Rob Valincius: I know. You got some fucking crazy stories you wanna drive 

Mike Buchi: Oh, yeah. Um, to prison. What, what are you looking for? Uh, hangings, uh, people getting thrown off. Top tier. Um, the concussions. I got, uh, fecal matter getting thrown at me. What do you want? I got it all.

Okay. Um, the crazy, gimme a little of 

Rob Valincius: everything. Okay. Well, we'll, we'll take a little bit of everything. 

Mike Buchi: Okay. Well, the craziest, uh, thing I saw, these guys are arguing over the TV and the guy got tired of me. He's like, well, fuck it if I can't watch what I want. Nobody is. And he went on top tier. I. He jumped off a Jimmy Super flash snook a style head first, and took out the tv.

I thought he was dead. His head was split open like a coconut. All I saw was rain. Rain, like fragments. Oh. I was like, uh, yeah, we had a jumper, medical emergency, hotel second and oh, everybody comes in, there's blood everywhere. The dude I'm working with crying, I'm like, go to the bathroom. You're disgrace. I was like, and I was like, God, get outta here.

He's crying. I'm like, why are you crying? He's like, how you been affected by this? I was like, yeah, that's what it's, I was like, you become numb to this shit after a while. You see, if you're here a week, you've been here five years, you can't handle that. You better quit. And he did. He quit, but, and the messed up part was I had to call him 'cause I still live with my parents and my mom answered I, Hey mom, I need to talk to dad.

I didn't wanna mess upset her. I'm like, yo does is the hose hooked up out back because it was the winter. He was like, yeah, why? I was like, open the gate out back because I got fragments of somebody's skull in my boots and blood and I don't wanna track it into the house. He's like, Jesus Christ. You know what's crazy?

The motherfucker lived, but he got out six months later and he jumped off a big, he jumped off a parking lot at the very top at the plaza. Remember when that dude like did a header off the, at the plaza? He was the guy. Yeah. His name was, I ain't gonna say his name. Nevermind. Wow. Yeah. But um, and then there was the, uh, the good old, uh, I got knocked out by my, uh, captain.

We were rolling around with his medical nut. I had him in like a half a guillotine about to have him tap and I don't know why. He comes up and he hits me. He went hit him with a short jab. Dude, Bob, his head knocked me out cold. I woke up in the back of end, was in there. What the fuck happened? That was the first concussion that I had at work.

The second one, we were in a pile. Geez. We were in a pile with people and I got kicked in the temple and I woke up in the ambulance. Oh yeah. And I made sure everyone was like a huge note on there. Do not call D Bucci. 'cause my mom would've had a fucking, she didn't know half the shit that went down. I was talking to my dad about it and my dad was like, yes, no.

When Uncle Butch went through the same shit, that's why I respect the hell out. I got knocked out with a trail lid over the head. I was arguing with the dude and I turned around and he was like, I don't want no problems. As soon as turn around, B hit upside the head. And then the fourth one, I was feeding the guys and they had this nut in there with the regular general population.

And uh, he, I didn't get a tray. I was like, you should told me 10 minutes ago, you're fucked. He, I'm not fucked. You are. I'm, what do you He threw water in my. He swung on me and then I hit him, gripped him up, and then I fell into water. He threw at me. I went back, my head in a lay safety box, split my wig open, but I was so pissed.

I didn't even realize that I'm on top of him. Like, Ralphie and a Christmas story just wailing on this motherfucker. All these inmates come running. I think I'm get rolled on. They're like, but you're leaking. And I see a big ass puddle of blood. My buddy comes running down, slides on my butt across the fucking floor, like Lenny Dykstra.

I'm just like, what the fuck? I, I didn't even know why, how I was bleeding and it was only I had to get three staples. But when you bleed from the, the head is profusely. So, oh, I'm doing a podcast. Keep it there. Sorry. Anyway, um, decided to get three staples. Here's the best part. A week later, I'm going to the Dr.

My dumb ass doctor hopped out. Two of 'em, left one in there. I didn't know it. I'm out drinking with my buddies before I go on the plane, and my buddy seen me. He is like, dude, you still got one in your head. I was like, all right, gimme pliers. So I'm in the parking lot of Valley Forged beef and nail.

Everybody's screaming. My name's circling around. Boch, Boch, Boch Boes. I'm yanking this fucking thing outta my head and I'm bleeding. I'm like, ah. So 

Rob Valincius: Jesus Christ, dude. 

Mike Buchi: Yeah, 

Rob Valincius: that's a couple. So you've, uh, you've said some, you've said a couple things that there's a lot of, uh, poop throwing in prison, right?

Mike Buchi: Yes. In our medical area. Yes, they do. They call getting gas. And the crazy thing about it is like, you could be literally, you could be literally chilling with the guy like the day before. I remember this one time, because when you're a medical, you do showers and you let these wing nuts out. That's all they get is a shower a day.

And you know, they come out, they wanna talk to you. Some of 'em think you're, God, I remember the one dude told you I, I was an impossible. So I was like, you got three minutes to get in the shower and you're gonna enter the gate to hell. And he got, so, he got showered so fucking quick. But, uh, anyway, so, um, that's awesome.

Yeah. I'm talking this one guy, right? We're talking eagles and stuff. He's cool as shit. The next day the dude's winging out, banging his head and they're about to duff this. I was like, let me talk to him. I got rapport with him. I go in there to talk to him. He like, fuck shit. It didn't hit me and it hit the wall.

So then I opened the door and I kicked him in his dome and knocked him out. And then I took his blanket and I threw in the toilet and I left.

Rob Valincius: Is there any common misconceptions about prison that you can, I know it's a county prison, so it's a little different county. You can, here's a 

Mike Buchi: little nugget of that information that I learned because I went to work for the state for a little bit before I got fired. When I got hooked, caught hooking up with that girl and smoking weed in the banford.

I didn't tell you that story. 

Rob Valincius: Yeah, 

Mike Buchi: okay. But, um, 

Rob Valincius: uh, a little bit. I got a little bit. 

Mike Buchi: Okay. Well, the state, um, the state is easier than county. The county is a mixture of people with state parole violations, general population inmates. It's a mixture of everybody and they're all coming up the street. Fucked up.

County life is way crazier in state, believe it or not. State is a more chill, relaxed atmosphere because they have pool tables on the block. They have a game room where they play Madden. They get to go to Villanova University, get their degree for $3. The state is a joke. The system's a joke, and I don't wanna work in it anymore.

Wow. I'm embarrassed to even be in it anymore. It's set up for the scumbags. It's, that's why, why three bucks? I go bad for cops. Any cop or co. You're just getting it checked. There is no respect. Nobody gives a fuck about you. The inmates rank higher than you. The last straw for me, and I knew I was done.

This guy was giving me shit and I said, you're a junkie piece of shit. When you get out, let me know where you are. I'll buy a bag of fentanyl. Watch you die. You fucking loser. He went on a tablet. They all had tablets and he was able to email my captain what I said. They wrote me up and said I was gonna have to take an unprofessionalism, a professionalism course.

I was like, here's some professional for you. Suck my dick. I'm not taking it. I was like, and you know what? I think I'm gonna retire. Fuck this place. And I left, admitted. It's, the system is so whacked and upside down, being a cop or law co nobody respects you. It's like you're Rodney, danger for all the world.

Get no respect, bro. None. It's terrible. 

Rob Valincius: That's, that's wild. 

Mike Buchi: That's how it is, man. Um, that's how it is right now. You can ask anybody to agree with me. So, 

Rob Valincius: you know, let's, let's hit, let's hit recent events. 

Mike Buchi: Okay, let's go. 

Rob Valincius: Um, so, so, uh, you, you had briefly touched on it, okay. But you did, you did get married at some point.

And, uh, yeah, that 

Mike Buchi: was the, had you 

Rob Valincius: had the kids. That's what I call the 

Mike Buchi: doomsday years. Yeah. 

Rob Valincius: Talk, talk a little bit about, uh, the, that woman a suck people most miserable 

Mike Buchi: bitch. You met her and you didn't like her. Nobody liked her. Nobody liked her. She was awful. She sucked at life. She was great till we got married.

We got married. I said, we said, I do. And she said, I'm gonna ruin your fucking life. Pretty much. She was horrible, horrible. And I couldn't do it anymore. 

Rob Valincius: She, she definitely was not a people person. Nice person. No, to, I mean, like, she just didn't smile. 

Mike Buchi: No, she was just, well, in her defense when you met her, she just found out a week prior to I was banging a stripper at my dad's house behind her back.

So, I mean, I wasn't the fact that she even went to my grandmother's funeral. Said something. I can't stick up for her on that. But she deserved to be cheating on. She sucked her life. She was not a good wife. She didn't cook, she didn't clean, she didn't make much money. I had a job lined up for her to make double what she made and she told me, nah, we're good.

I like my job. Oh fuck me. Right? Yeah. That's what I was dealing with. So I finally got tired of it. I said, you know what, it's time to get rid of this miserable dead weight bitch. And I told her, I said, that's strike 10 for you. Pack your shit and get the fuck outta my house. You degenerate piece of shit.

And then two days later she hit me with a PFA and then we were um, moving, we were in the process of moving 'cause we weren't staying where we're at. 'cause my landlord sucked at life and he was a piece of shit. He looked like freaking Rick Moranis. I told him, I was like, dude, you're a little p squeak guy, right?

I was like, I was like, I'd slap you around like a little bitch, but I know you called a cops. You, you're a little coward. I was like, don't ever call my phone again. We're moving out in two months. You fucking dirt bag. It was a nice place, buddy. He was like a slumlord and he wasn't fixed. Anytime I would call him to fix on, I'm like, yo, the dishwasher.

And he said, all right, Mike, I'm up in the rent. $150. I said, I ain't gonna pay you cocksucker. We already signed. What you got signed? You moron. Like, he was terrible. Well, anyway, the judge said, well, since you're leaving in two weeks, she told these that that came to my house. Since you're leaving in two weeks, we're not gonna give you the right to stay here or not.

So we're kicking you out too. You got 10 minutes to get your shit. I was like, that's awesome. Thanks man. Appreciate it guys. I don't have any people either. I was like, well, my people live in Northtown. I'm in Red Hill. So I get to my stuff. I'm out front. They're like, okay, well it's about the rain. Remember that torrential downpour we had?

Rob Valincius: Yeah. 

Mike Buchi: Three weeks ago. That's when it all happened. Yeah. You know me, I'm like fucking that old guy in uh, Bronx Tail, you know, uh, mush anything. You bet the fucking horse, that guy. That's me. Bad luck like a motherfucker. I get cut, stuck in the rain, clothes soaked. I had pictures of my parents that were soaked.

I was livid. Finally, my friend picked me up and he put me up in a hotel. I got dry, I put dry clothes on and I said, you know what? Now it's time to get them back. And what do I shine at doing vengeance. So I decided to write a fake suicide while on Facebook, and I put it 8 26. 'cause that was my parents' wedding anniversary.

I'm gonna blow my fucking brains out because of my wife. I ain't gonna say her name 'cause she'd probably sue me and she sucks at life. And my cousin, I'm not gonna say his name because he is a piece of shit, but he is a ginger. Never trusts the ginger. They're both scorpios. That's one thing I'll never date a Scorpio ever again in my life.

Scorpios are. Fuck all. Somebody could prove me wrong, but it's gonna take a lot. So I wrote that plot. I passed out and then at 10 in the morning my apartment, my, my hotel room got kicked in and I got tackled by a stadium on the bed. And I'm laughing. I was like, there's no weapon assholes. I was like, it was all plot.

That mess up messing. My, my wife and my cousin. They're like, we don't care. We're taking you somebody 3 0 2 Joe. I'm like, what? And they cuffed me and it took me to building 50, which was embarrassing because as an officer I used to transport there. I knew the people that worked there. And here's the best part, I'm sitting there in cuffs and there was an inmate who I took care of for 22 years as a co.

And he was a nut batshit crazy. And to get him to listen, you get him a cup of coffee, he would stop. He was gonna kill a guy who stole his commissary. He had him up over his head and was gonna throw him off the top tier. I was the first one in. I like, I, I ain't gonna say his name. I was like, yo, bud. Put him down cup of coffee.

He goes like this, puts him down, walks down the steps, like Herman Munster follows me out quietly. I give him the cup of coffee. How's that go? You gotta go the hole. He like, okay, Boch. He was like, he was kind of like the green mile big like that. And he had heard dirt like you talk like that. Wouldn't, you know what they're bringing him in cuffs and he see me, he sees me in cuffs and goes live it.

He looks at the STA and he says, you take them fucking cuffs off of Bucci right now. I was like, yo, calm down. I made a mistake. He was ready to go off and he the sta, he had his hand on the hip. It was mayhem. Mind you, I'm whacked outta my mind. And I had about 500 milligrams of edibles in me. I was hitting my pen all night.

I drank a case of white claws. I. And, uh, so then I'm in building 50 with all these wing nuts that I used to fucking take care of. And they're all following me around like a fucking puppy dog. Like they're my crew and shit. Going into the TV room, I'm like, these young kids, you know them, they watch them YouTube videos, the the new ones, the dumb fucking reality ones.

I went to watch Fallen, you know? Yeah. I wanted to watch a movie. I was nice about as a go guy sitting a little bit go watch the movie. Of course my big buddy Green Mile behind me, he's like, check Mo wants to watch the movie. They all go running outta the TV room. I'm like, no, no. Security comes. I was like, I got it.

I took care of it. The security loved me there because I was putting out fires. This one dude was running down the hallway. He like, they're on the roof. They're gonna me. I said, get behind me, bro. I on you.

Well, after four days, you had 

Rob Valincius: a, you had a crew of wing nuts, bro. Had a crew. I was 

Mike Buchi: Jack Ni dude. I was Jack Nicholson. And I was Jack Nicholson and one who flew over to Cuckoo's Nest. I had the one dude going get this down the hallway.

It was shit, bro. Dude, it was wild. But here's the craziest part. The craziest part. Well, after four days I was told I was gonna leave. They decided no, they wanted to whack me and get all the money they could. 'cause you know, it's defunding and they, you know, they get paid well. I lose my shit, shit. So at that point I was like, I'm not helping you guys anymore.

I was rile up. I was like, fuck this place. We're gonna burn it. I bumped in this dude. I was like, ah, fuck you up. I was ready to fight. Security surrounds me, this little girl, about 5 110 pounds. She had a little bit of a blue dye in her hair. She looked like Bill Eilish comes up, grabs my hand. She says, you are a very angry person.

I'm about to snap. I'm like, she was, but I could tell you got a beautiful soul. And I was like, my heart melted Mel. They put me in segregation during the next day. I was by myself and I liked it. I had my own room. I had a tv. I didn't have to talk to anybody. I wish I would've just kept me there. But then the next day I went back and she was on the other side of the door waiting for me.

And uh, yeah, we start talking and I built a bond with her in eight days that I'd never had in eight years with my suc UUs of an ex-wife. And we're dating and uh, we're dating now, and she, uh, my girlfriend we're taking it slow. I told her, you know, I literally divorced, divorced two weeks ago and she accepts it.

Um, she has a kid, got her shit together, got her own place. She's really cool. You know, we're taking this slow though. I mean, I, I, I told her, I was like, look, I was like, if you ever wanna get married, I'm not your guy. I was like, I'm looking for somebody. I'll be your partner. We'll hang out. And, and she's really cool.

And the only reason she was there, um, she had seizures and her doctor screwed up and gave her the wrong medicine. She wasn't feeling right. So she went there herself and checked herself because she was smart enough to do that. But yeah, she went to, uh, Lehigh University. She got three master's degrees. Um, she was a marine biologist before she started having seizures.

And now she has her house and she takes care of, she does stay funny and takes care of mentally challenged people and gets paid for by the state. Dude, she's awesome. You'll meet her. Wow. Yeah, man. And uh, it's crazy. Hey, you 

Rob Valincius: never know 

Mike Buchi: when you're gonna meet somebody. Oh yeah. I can make a movie now. I'd be like, be like, Hey, maybe, you know, I was thinking crazy, crazy.

1150, you know, maybe that's what we'll call it. It's nuts. Right. Um, but as long as you know me, my life has been crazy. 

Rob Valincius: Yeah. I mean, look, if there's anyone that would meet somebody in the crazy house, 

Mike Buchi: it's Mike Gucci, it's Mike fucking Bucci. And an upgrade bites you. Oh, an upgrade. Looking better mentally, better happy.

Like, she's actually gonna enjoy being around my family. Not like that's spu, you know, I knew she sucked. Did you uh, you, you did. Go ahead. Yeah. I'm sorry, I'm talking the whole time. 

Rob Valincius: No, I was gonna say, did you, did you, you didn't discuss one of the incidents of you being stabbed? 

Mike Buchi: Oh, no, I did not. And that is actually when my marriage died.

My, uh, stepdaughter, who I called Michael, my stepdaughter, who I call Michael Myers, you know, you know, after she stabbed me, you know what I would do when I see her in the hallway, I would go.

Yeah, my stepdaughter stabbed, well first she assaulted my wife while I was at baseball practice with my son. And I said, you know, I went Pat Bucci, like, fuck that, that ain't happening. You better handle your fucking business before I get home. I was pissed. I mean, I, I, she's a girl. I wasn't gonna hurt her.

Yeah. I was just gonna grab her up and scare her. She was skipping school. So I go up there, she a knife. I'm like, what the fuck you gonna do with that? I left. She stabbed me and then I grabbed the knife from her. I smacked her. That was it. Her mom came up and yelled at me. Why'd you get outta my ass? You put your hands on my daughter as I'm bleeding all over the floor.

I said, you fucking people are insane. I'm outta here. And I went to my dad's. Yeah. But that's when our marriage died. Then I was like, I came, I show for you and then you betray me. Like I gotta, I like, I should just let her whoop your ass. 

Rob Valincius: So, so her daughter stabs you, you stick up for her. And then she tells you, you're a piece of shit.

Oh yeah. 

Mike Buchi: You put your hands on. My daughter. I was like, she should be in a padded room. I hear the music every night. I hide my mask because I'm afraid she's gonna wear it. 

Rob Valincius: Actually, a Sasha made fun of me because I'll tell, I'll tell you a funny story. I bought a digital piano. Well, it's like I bought a piano.

Okay. It's like a, um, it, it's a keyboard, but it mi Tasha. It's a keyboard, but she's behind the green screen. Hey, it mimics Hey, hey. 

Mike Buchi: Out there. Get a job. Sorry Rob. Go ahead. 

Rob Valincius: So good. Um, it's a keyboard that mimics a piano. It's got like the, um, the keys almost like you're playing a piano. It sounds cool. And, uh, so.

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, it's awesome. I've only played it like five times because that's what happens when you think you're gonna, you know, play a musical instrument instrument when you're 36. Um, so I, I bought it, I started playing it. The first song I tried to teach myself was the Michael Myers theme song. Oh 

Mike Buchi: yeah, 

Rob Valincius: bro.

Which, by the way, I did learn. 'cause it's super easy. 

Mike Buchi: Do you remember when we went to see, uh, Halloween? I guess it was eight. It was you, me, Chuck, and Brian, and I'm flipping out in the parking lot. He never dies. Was H2O. 

Rob Valincius: He never fucking dies. I think it was H2O and we were in Oaks. And you're just screaming out the window.

You're like, he's still alive. He never fucking dies. 

Mike Buchi: Did I ever tell you about how they got arrested with the man? Um, oh shit. I gotta tell you that story. 

Rob Valincius: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I've never heard that one. 

Mike Buchi: Oh, I was at Halford Track, my buddy through a Halloween party. They had shroom tea. I didn't know, I thought it was this regular fruit punch.

I mixed it with vodka and I was shroom him not, he's like, Mike, you didn't drink that, did you? I'm like, yeah, so why? What am I gonna be on now? He's like, shrooms. I was like, oh, great. Well, I had the Michael Myers mask. I stole a jumpsuit from my jail and that's what I was wearing. I had my real handcuff from work on my wrist.

So I was too fucked up to rock. So I walk home, I walked home in the mask, you know, jumpsuit, everything 3:00 AM I see some dude, I'm just waving to him thinking nothing of it. I guess I freaked him the fuck out. He called West Martin pd, all West Martin PD had me surround a guns drawn. I was like, I'm on the ground.

I'm like, I work at the, I work at the Prince and I swear I was wearing this at a Halloween party. 

Rob Valincius: Oh yeah. Jesus Christ. Um, I, I, so we were at, um, we were at my mom's, uh, last weekend. And it was funny because Uncle Earl was there. Oh. And we were, uh, dude, we were telling stories. I was about when he fucking decorated his cri when he was like on the highest end of his alcoholism and he decorated his Christmas tree.

He would drink 70 Coors. Like, can Yeah. Yeah. Yo, his angel was just a Coors Light stack at the top. Yes, 

Mike Buchi: dude. He was a funny ass drunk. 

Rob Valincius: I'll never forget I was with him, uncle Roy and Little Earl. I don't think Matt came with us. And uh, we were, we were hanging out at the house. I was hanging out with Little Earl and they're like, let's go for a beer run.

So we go for a beer run and the whole time he's scream, he's obviously obliterated. He's screaming out the window, look at that puppy. Just the whole time. Dude, I think Uncle Roy was driving. I hope he was. I don't fucking remember. I was a kid, you know, I was like, I feel like I was, uncle Roy was actually a good driver.

I was like 14 maybe. 

Mike Buchi: Yeah. Uncle Roy was a good driver. I'll give him that. Oh 

Rob Valincius: yeah. 

Mike Buchi: That's about Uncle Roy's a great 

Rob Valincius: driver. 

Mike Buchi: Oh my God, dude. But, um, I think my funniest Uncle Earl's story was, um. He picked me up from school after I had detention. He was driving by and he picked me up from detention. He pulls over, he sees this lady, he watch this, you rolls the window down and he, she, he's like, she's ugly.

He's like, yo, lady, that dog should be walking. You be ugly, man. Shit, he pulls off. I'm like, oh my God. She's flipping out, curing at him. I'm like, yo, dude, yo. And Uncle Earl got flagged like from every bar in Norristown. I remember when I first turned 21, it was me, him and Uncle Roy. We tried to go to the zos.

They're like, you two are good. They point, uncle, you're not. We tried to go two, geez, you two are good. You're not. I mean, is there any fucking bar you a flag from? He's like, ah, fuck him. I'm disgusted. Take me out. I'm like, oh my God, you know him? I'm disgusted. He always says that, or he always says, still trying to drink from that black bottle.

Rob Valincius: Dude, he's, it's, he's, it's wild to see him. It's wild to see him like, older, older, you know what I 

Mike Buchi: mean? Because like, like so laid back, like just, he's miserable as fuck though. So man, like, 

Rob Valincius: yeah, well he doesn't drink. He doesn't drink. So, I mean, it's like, I mean, at Pop Earl, he was just on another level. 

Mike Buchi: Dude, Papa Earl's funeral.

He was, I mean you were two. I was, I was 15 at Papa Barrel's funeral. So you were about like seven, eight years old? 

Rob Valincius: Yeah. I don't remember. You don't remember? I don't remember. 

Mike Buchi: Papa. I'm gonna tell you. No, you don't remember though. The whole thing was a mess. You don't remember me, pun me and Charlie got in a fist fight over who had to be a Paul bearer when we need one, this one to do it.

I choked him, my dad, to get me off him. We were fighting inside the funeral. And then as we're fighting, uncle Earl. Uncle Earl comes in and he's got his suit laced with Coors. And he walks in, you know, nature boy,

he's yelling, right? I'm like, oh my God. Well, after I, well, uncle Earl got all, uncle Earl threw a pack of married cigarettes and hit Papa Earl's dead carcass with him and said, he's what killed you, you rot, son of a bitch. He's like, better than a dead man. Woo. Walks away from the casket. I'm laughing my off.

I'm like, this is, this is epic. And then, uh, our cousin, Ernie and uncle were about to get in a fight because they were arguing over who won the wrestle match the night before or some shit because they were both been the wrestling thing. And then crazy as Uncle Wal came in, pop Earl's brother, and he had a baby blue leisure suit on with a cowboy hat.

He signed eulogy book Master.

And, uh, somebody, there he is. They, they were like, they're like, Hey Walt. He's like, don't call me Walt. Call me master. And I go, master Bader. He's like, you little shit, don't you talk to me like that. And I started laughing my fucking ass off. And then that's when the, uh, priest is like, does anybody have anything?

And nobody said shit. And Uncle Gar was like, I do dollar drafts Tencent weeks. He, I'm trying to get Lee. Let's go. Woo. And I was like, what the fuck? That is wild. And then there was that big debacle where an aunt didn't wanna pay, she didn't wanna pay for the funeral, but put her part up and she picked out top of the line, everything.

And my dad was like, I am going to fucking, he, I'm gonna snap. And he went up there and he is, I'm gonna blow up your fucking house if you don't put up that six grand for the funeral. And she put a PFA on him. And then we became p me and my dad are PFA buddies. I guess we both got pfas. I got another funny Uncle Earl story.

Yeah. Hit me. He was shit based. And he was calling, he was calling, he was calling my mom a bitch and all this other shit. My dad got him. He like, girl, knock that shit off. Like, man, fuck you, pat. He hung up with my dad. My dad's like, I'm gonna go fuck your brother up. And he left and my mom didn't even stop.

She was like, good fuck girl. Like she wanted him to get his ass whooped. So my dad went there and as he went there, uncle girl locked the whole house up. He wouldn't let him in. My dad's so crazy he seen that the window was open. My dad came home and got a fucking ladder, climbed up the ladder into the house and fucking went after Uncle Earl and made Uncle Earl call and apologized to my mom.

You 

Rob Valincius: know what though? My 

Mike Buchi: dad 

Rob Valincius: was crazy, bro. That justice is missed today. Remember when he like people, people are like keyboard warriors and they think that like someone's not gonna fuck them up for saying dumb shit. Oh, and I feel like we need to bring that back. We need some. We need some Uncle Pat Justice.

Mike Buchi: Hello. I'll 

Rob Valincius: do it too. Why do you 

Mike Buchi: think I got pfas? My cousin was like, yeah, come see me. I was like, I'm already eight minutes away. He said, the 

Rob Valincius: of your maps on your phone, you know, I. Like, like you're fucking delivering Uber. Like, you know that guy, like you're Uber Eats bitch. 

Mike Buchi: Yeah. Here's your Uber eat bitch a knuckle sandwich.

Get a job. You bum Jesus Christ. But, um, bro, you know, you're my, you're my little bro. If you ever like, yo shit popped off, I'm only, the only question I'm going, who's driving? You know, I'm put in work. Look here, here's, here's my deal. 

Rob Valincius: You know that I am one of those people. When shit goes down, I disappear. So, um, there there is this, there is this one time, dude, I'll never forget this shit.

Uh, I don't know if I've ever even told anyone this story. I was with, do you remember Tim? I used to hang out with Tim. 

Mike Buchi: Uh, which one was that? What did he look like? He was like, like, the only friend I remember yours is, is, uh, Johnson's Goofy Head. That's the only one I really remember. 

Rob Valincius: Johnson Johnson's a I love that guy, man.

Like, Johnson's Johnson's hilarious bro. Johnson's my boy. I like, I he's probably my longest Yeah. Associated friend at this point because I've, why 

Mike Buchi: don't I wanna, I wanna go to Screw Balls with you and Johnson yet. Oh, dude, that was fun. Did Screw balls have karaoke? 

Rob Valincius: They, 

they 

Mike Buchi: have 

Rob Valincius: to. 

Mike Buchi: Does screws have Kara?

They, they have to. I'm, I'm going to, um, tonight I'm going to um, uh, Panico in Lansdale for Draw Karaoke. 

Rob Valincius: You ever been to Panic Goes? Have you ever been to Panico? 

Mike Buchi: Yeah, apparently we have. No, tell her I said What's up man. Tell her I said what's up. I didn't even say hi. Boot 

Rob Valincius: says 

Mike Buchi: hi. 

Rob Valincius: He says hi. Um, yeah, we um, we're gonna double date soon.

Yeah. We're gonna 

Mike Buchi: have a double date 

Rob Valincius: soon. He said he wants to double date soon. 

Mike Buchi: Phillies game. 

Rob Valincius: Yeah. We'll do a Phillies game game dude. We'll do a Phils game. Absolutely. Hey, and we're tailgating. What's that? We're tailgating. She said. Oh, what with your wife?

Mike Buchi: Yeah. She might get the tickets from me. She tried to take everything else from me. That bleeding heart bitch, that bitch 300, 300 grand gone. My SRT gone. I got nothing Holmes, I lost everything, bro. Jesus Christ. Uh, they got me out here like Rocky five. I'm out there yelling the like rocky five when he stall alone.

Here goes Bucci. Just another bug for the neighborhood. 

Rob Valincius: Uh, hold on, lemme lemme I, I'll tell you this story. So I was hanging out with Tim and uh, we, we went to this, this party in Roxborough and uh, it was like a friend of his and I drove 'cause he didn't have a license, so I drove us everywhere. I was his chauffeur basically.

Mike Buchi: Yeah. 

Rob Valincius: Um, so we're hanging out at this party. We're drinking. It's, it's chill. Uh, and there's some drug dealers at the party that nobody wants there. So there, yeah. Tons of scuffle. And it's like an argument. And the guy's like, I'm gonna go get my fucking gun and knife and I'm going to kill you. And so this guy leaves the party and I leave.

I'm like, I look at Tim, I'm like, yo, bro, I'm out. How'd it go? I'm not getting stabbed. How'd go? He's like, he's like, ah, I'm I, I'm good. I'm like, all right, cool. So I went, I went in my car and I was like, peeking. And this is when I had a, do you remember my baby Blue Mercury Topaz? 

Yes, I do actually. Um, so it's 

1990, it's a 1990.

I'm like peeking above the seats and I see this motherfucker roll up. He's got a knife, dude. And it wasn't like a machete, but it was a big fucking knife. And I'm like, woo. And I'm just like laying in my backseat, like, and Tim's still in the party. I'm like, I don't know. I guess he's dying. Like, you know, I'm like, fuck that guy.

I told him I'm leaving. I'm out. Yeah. And um, but if 

Mike Buchi: you say you're leaving and you're a good driver, it's time to fucking 

Rob Valincius: go. Especially when they're, they're. Someone that was a scary looking gentleman that was, uh, threatening to kill people with a knife. So, uh, I was gone. I'm pretty sure the cops showed up.

Someone was stabbed. Uh, and I came back and I, you know what, I think Tim was, maybe it wasn't a friend, I think it was his cousin, it was his, like his cousin's house. And he was like crying like a baby on the steps. And I like, just show up two hours later and I'm like, Hey man, it's different of life. Like I was 

just 

Jesus, right.

Hiding in my car, you know? 

Mike Buchi: Yeah. You go into survival mode. That's what you gotta do in situations like that, bro. I was either, either you're on a, the guy you're gonna, and you know me, I'm stupid. I remember we were at this bar and this dude pulled a gun on me. I disarmed him and took it from him, and I beat the brakes off him.

Then I threw his gun in the creek. 

Rob Valincius: Yeah. I don't have the balls for that. Uh, I would just, uh, I, I would just leave. That's, that's 

been my 

Mike Buchi: go to. I don't know what it is. I've always been like, my, my dad was like that too. So, I mean, it's craziness, you know? Is it smart? No. No. I'm an idiot. I'm a fucking mor. I'm looking and getting my brain 

Rob Valincius: brains blown.

You know what though? I feel like living like Nars town's a just a dark void of shit. 

Mike Buchi: Um, dude, I was 14 selling cocaine with a fucking guy with a Glock, with the serial number scratched off. At 14. At 14, I'm hanging out with B Boys, which are considered Crips that were part of the rowing sixties. Like I hung out with some serious dudes.

Like, yeah, I, I remember when, uh, Chuck's friend got killed. I went on George Street. I met him a couple times. He was a great guy. He got killed by Latin King over nothing. Got over nothing. It was insane. And my friend, he was four years younger than me, he was 12. He, he, he was like trying to help, help, help the guy that got killed, he was covered in his blood.

It was fucking terrible. 

Rob Valincius: I, I, so, you know, you gotta tell me the full story of, uh, I tell people this story 'cause I remember you telling me like back in the day, but you gotta tell me the story about the time you were tripping on acid and you thought spiders were crawling all over you. 

Mike Buchi: No, I didn't. That wasn't it, not spiders.

I thought that was the end of the world and I thought my dad was Satan. I got in the house and he gripped me up and said, get off me. I'm not already there. Gate of hell is. And then I barricaded myself in my bedroom. My mom was freaking out crying. He kicked my door and I was hitting in the closet. He drug me up on my feet.

I kicked him in the face and knocked him over. I fell down the steps. My mom's crying. I run out. He ran out his fat ass, jumped off the porch and tackled me. And then Chris Gram's, dad grabbed my feet and he grabbed my arms. They get me back in the house because Chris ran away and they filed a mis report and they wanted to get me in the house 'cause I was acting crazy and they didn't wanna get me 3 0 2.

Well, huh. It happened later on, didn't it? Yeah. I ended up sooner or later fuckers. That's so, um, that's wild, man. How's, and then my dad gets his genius idea. He calls Mo, he's like, look, Mike's all fucked up. I was on acid, PCP Coke. Uh, I did like eight lines of Coke. I did three hits of acid. I drank a 12 pack of beer.

I was a, I was a madman. I was only 16 years old too. I was a monster. I was punching at cars on Main Street and jumping on him. I knocked over some, she and CVS and then I ran home. Then I knocked, I punched my dad. Then my dad called my uncle and was like, what should I do? Of course. What does my uncle tell him?

Oh, knock him out. What about when he wakes up? Just keep knocking him out till he comes too. Oh yeah. That's the advice he gave him. So he knocked me out like six times and I woke up covered in blood the next day and, and he, he was just standing over top of me. My, my teeth were still loose from that shit, bro.

Rob Valincius: Jesus Christ. What? Um, yeah, like, like that had to be, uh, I'm trying to remember, we used to hang out in your basement a lot and I'm trying to remember a certain played. Cool. Like didn't you have a room? Yeah. Didn't you have a room too that had like, I remember boxing gloves. 

Mike Buchi: Yeah. At, uh, it was like a, it was a toy room slash weight that my weight room set, you know, boxing gloves, the heavy bag.

Yeah. We had a nice little exercise like room down there, man. Like we, we used to, me and him used to box too, and this was, I was quicker than him. Right. I was starting to get cocky. You know what he did? He stepped on my foot and he knocked me the fuck out and he said, I don't care if you can beat me with your fist, A fist.

Can't do it a four by four, Ken. I'm like, bro, I'm 15. What the fuck is wrong with you? 

Rob Valincius: Like the ego, you know what I mean? Jesus. Jesus Christ. Yeah. So the story that my dad always talks about that is hilarious, and maybe you can shed some light on it, is the monkey story. Okay. Your dad was like walking down Main Street.

Oh, that's with a monkey on his story. That's a fucking story. Yeah, yeah, 

Mike Buchi: yeah. My uncle Joe had a pet. Where did the monkey come from? My uncle. Oh, my uncle. My uncle Joe was a heroin dealer and somebody owed him money and he didn't had money, so he gave him a fucking monkey. And he was like, he was like, I'll take the monkey.

No bullshit. So then, so then what he did was the monkey was fucked up because all he did was get the monkey high. The monkey would get high and then run all over the house. Jerking off. Jerking off, and pissing my grandma off and shit. Right? So then my uncle got tired of the monkey after shitting and jerking off all over the place.

He's said, Hey Pat, happy birthday. And gave it to him for his birthday. So then my dad loved him. Fucking monkey. My dad had it on his back, like he was curious. Fucking Georgia just walk around northtown with his fucking monkey on his back. Like a psycho. That's why they called Pat the monkey man. Yeah.

That's hilarious. What happened to the monkey? Oh, my grandma made him get rid of him when she had friends over her. One friend had period and the the monkey went up her skirt and was like trying to get to her snatch. She's get rid of it,

dude. Here's another funny story. This before my, before my mom and dad got together, uh, my Uncle Joe was a hippie and he used to hang out on Marshall Street, pop Earl used to let the cops spy on the hippies and used their house to do it. So he was known as a rat Uncle Joe firebombed their family vehicle and blew it up.

My mom Pop Pearl's family vehicle. Yeah. And this is before my mom and dad even met 

Rob Valincius: Jesus Christ. 

Mike Buchi: So our family's had beef before they even got together. 

Rob Valincius: Holy shit. It's nuts. I know. I gotta say, I gotta say, it's still absolutely hilarious. 

Mike Buchi: Absolutely. 

Rob Valincius: Um, absolutely. So, so what's on the future for, for Mr.

Bucci man? Like I know you're on the apology tour right now. 

Mike Buchi: Oh, yeah, yeah. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm about halfway through and the other half I tried to saying, answering your phone if don't forgive me in due time. And if not, I gotta, you know, I gotta accept it, you know. I'm not perfect. We're all perfectly imperfect.

I fucked up, I learned from it. And I'm on a journey. Um, Tuesday nights I'm at Soul Joel. I do standup comedy. It's in Potstown. It's uh, me and a whole bunch of other people. They're all hilarious. It's a great time if you anybody wants to ever come out and do that. Um, I finished a book. I'm trying to get published.

My aunt's trying to get me out there. It's called All or Nothing. It's pretty much about battling addiction and how I pretty much was raised by an addict and became an addict myself, honestly. 'cause my dad was an addict. And, um, I didn't really touch on that at all. But, um, yeah, and, um, you know, and just all the stuff I got into in turning my life around, that's what this, that book's about.

Um, I have a script for a movie. It's pretty much the same thing. It's called Teenage Wasteland. I got copyrights of it. I'm floating it around trying to get it out there. Um, what else do I going on? I think that's about it, man. I'm, you know, um, other than going out and singing karaoke, playing pool and drinking water, that's pretty much it, man.

Look, the sober life is the way I'm always on Wise hit it. I'm learning for the first time in 45 years that I can have fun without getting fucked up. Now I'm dead serious like I do. I'm sober and I'm, I'm happy. I'm clearheaded and I'm enjoying life and I actually, I'm dealing with all the trauma that I put on put off for a long time.

So anybody out there that's like battling addiction or is bipolar or depression or been through some shit, I feel like they can't get to the end of it. You can. You just gotta keep going. It doesn't, it will, you will work for you. You can make it happen. You just gotta work the program and just be fully committed.

If you do that, life can be good again. 

Rob Valincius: Yeah, I mean, look. I know this is probably the, uh, you know, the, the podcast, the Drink o'clock podcast is probably not the best podcast, uh, name to, uh, speak about sobriety. But I will tell you, oh, we've, we've cut back major. I mean, we used to drink every day. I mean, it's not like we would drink.

I. A, a 12 pack a day or anything crazy like that, we would have a couple drinks every day. And before you know it, I mean, the calories man and all that shit just adds up and uh, it fucks with your brain. I mean, so, um, yeah. Yeah, we just, we just don't drink like we used to. I mean, look, we're drinkers, we love drinking.

I, I enjoy drinking. Um, but we've cut it back mm-hmm. To a point where we're just more comfortable with. So like, you know, it might be once a week. Yeah. It might be twice a week sometimes. And I'm not 

Mike Buchi: and, and I'm not. I'm not, yeah. I'm not saying I'm gonna stay sober the whole entire time. Right now I'm going through this divorce and it is the battle and I'm trying to be my best self and show up the best I can and she can't use it against me.

So, yeah. I mean, downward, am I gonna have a couple traits properly? Am I gonna blaze again? Probably. Who knows? I mean, that wasn't the problem when I was having issues. The problem was I wasn't getting medication and I'm bipolar. That's what it was. 

Rob Valincius: Yeah. It fucks with you, man. You. Yeah, you gotta be careful and you just gotta like, when you're ready and you could do it in moderation, I think is the important part.

'cause Absolutely. I mean, you know, dude, like 

Mike Buchi: you gotta come rock out with me some like, man do karaoke. I would love that. 

Rob Valincius: I've never done karaoke and I, you probably will never see me do karaoke unless I'm 

Mike Buchi: No, we'll come hang out though. At least. 

Rob Valincius: Yeah. Yeah. 

Mike Buchi: Like, you know, like, you know what I'm, dude, I'm really into it.

I make a set, I, I organized before I go in. Like tonight I'm opening up with Eminem puke and that's not her. My sucky bus ex-wife. You sick. You make me, you make me fucking stick to my stomach every time I think of you, I puke. Yep. That's what I'm singing, bro. That's my therapy right there. Yeah. I mean, look, everybody's then's got their thing, 

Rob Valincius: brother.

Mike Buchi: Yeah, everybody. And I like to play pool too. I'm pretty good at pool. 

Rob Valincius: Yeah. Look, I'm, if you're serious about a Phillies game, let's do one. I mean, they're, they're not playing superly right now, but let's, let's, uh, uh, it's early. Yeah. Let's, let's do one. You know, like I've always 

Mike Buchi: wanted, 

Rob Valincius: I 

Mike Buchi: I always wanted to do double dates with you, bro.

Like, I always got along with Tasha and thought she was hilarious and you know, you're my brother. We always been close. You may not talk every day, but yeah. I love you to death, bro. You know that 

Rob Valincius: I might have killed your chameleon. I'm sorry. 

Mike Buchi: It was yo, yo, that, that beef is gone. That was decades ago. And dude, I, you should have killed more of my, that was terrible to you.

Do you remember when I took your, my buddy DA and I put a knife in his hand and told you it was a Chucky? Don, you freaked the fuck out. 

Rob Valincius: No, dude. The worst was when you'd fucking put man pillow. Man. This motherfucker would put a pillow over his head and terrorize me for like 20 minutes and I'm like, I'm like, what the fuck is going on?

Really good gamer dog. I. That, that was before my brother was alive. Right? Like before he was born? 

Mike Buchi: Nah. Um, yeah, actually, yeah, a little bit. I'm 12 years older than Ryan. 

Rob Valincius: Yeah, it 

Mike Buchi: was before him because you were like seven and I was like, actually, you know, he was a baby. He was he was a baby. 

Rob Valincius: He was a baby.

Yeah. 

Mike Buchi: And yeah. But 

Rob Valincius: yeah, 

Mike Buchi: man, we had a lot of good times, bro. Lot of good times. 

Rob Valincius: I was a good gamer though, away. I kicked some ass, bro. I kicked some ass when I was a kid. 

Mike Buchi: You're, yeah. You used to piss me off. I play in You used to kick my ass in Techmobile, bro. I'm like, I got six years on this fucker and I'm pretty good at you.

Were killing me. 

Rob Valincius: I, dude, I, I, I never, I, I talked about this on the podcast a couple times, but, uh, when, uh, it was, it, my dad would have his buddies come over and they would be drinking and I would, I was like five and I would be wrecking them and there'd be times where my dad almost had to get in fistfights because his friends would get fucking pissed that a 5-year-old is their ass in Techmobile.

Mike Buchi: Yeah. You 

Rob Valincius: know, 

Mike Buchi: wild bro. 

Rob Valincius: Well look man, it was, um, but up. It was a, it was a pleasure having you on, brother. Um, let's do this again soon. Let's hang out. Yeah, you too, bro. 

Mike Buchi: I had a blast, man. I had a blast. And, um, I'm going to be starting a podcast soon too. And it's called, uh, um, it's called, um, t um, my Bad, um, um, tales from the Hood, Norristown Trials and Tribulations.

And, um, I'm gonna be having guests on there. The one, my first guest, and I'm not gonna say his name because I don't know if he wants it yet, but I was taking a piss in the alleyway and this fucker stole a cop car. And he came beaming at me like he was gonna hit me with that. And I thought it was an actual cop.

And I found out the next day it was him. And then he drove the fucking car into the Schule River. He was crazy. Jesus Christ. And now, and now he works with children, youth, and he, he turned his life around and he motivates and he works with troubled youth about turning their life around. And I'm gonna work, I'm working on working with him too, and taking tours to the jail and working with, I wanna start working with troubled kids like me as well.

I feel like my story can be motivating and inspiring and you know, my motto is, if you ain't making somebody else's life better, you're wasting your time. That's what we're here for, to make each other better, 

Rob Valincius: you know? And look, it's the whole reason why I have this podcast, brother, is the just kind of talk about, um, experiences from everybody's walk of life, whether it, you know, I've interviewed people from Japan, Australia, the uk Oh, that's, it's all over the place.

So, um, if you need me, uh, to jump on a podcast, brother, you let me know. I'd be happy to, to, to hop on. Oh, thank you. It'd be an honor and a pleasure, bro. Honor and a pleasure. I don't have any crazy fucking stories like you, but I have, I have. I feel like I, I have enough experience. I could help 

Mike Buchi: enough experience.

And you do got, you do got funny stories and you got funny. Like your boy Johnson's fucking hilarious. We, we got some hilarious, I only hung out with him maybe three times. We got some good Johnson stories. Every time 

Rob Valincius: we got some good Johnson stories. 

Mike Buchi: Every time I seen him, he was fucking bombed and he would just say shit outta left field.

Like I remember we were talking about the Eagles one time and he is like, yeah, that chick's tits are nice. I was like, huh, what the fuck? Where come from? 

Rob Valincius: Dude, we were drinking one time, the whole time here. We were just getting wasted and we're like, let's go to parks. And we all go to parks and he basically pushed an old lady outta the way, she's like leaving the casino and, and, and he is like, get the fuck outta the way you old bat.

Like he, I watched him drink, uh, like just a regular bottle. 700, 750 milliliters. I watched him drinking a whole bottle in 20 minutes. 

Mike Buchi: What? 

Rob Valincius: That's 

insane. Dude. He, that's insane. 

Me, Asha. Can drink double what we can. And I don't know how he materializes it in his body, but 

Mike Buchi: yeah. See, me too though, Rob, like, Rob, I'm 45 years old.

I'm clean now. There was 20-year-old kids that couldn't hang with me. I'm still a monster. Like I would go six, seven day beers at bar to bar to bar drinking and smoking. I, I was hitting my pen nonstop. Oh. I was high 24 hours a day. I was going through a pen a day where it would last somebody, two weeks.

Jesus Christ. And I'm hitting, I was popping edibles and drinking and singing and playing pool and just wilding the fuck out. Going to the Eagles Games, Phillies games. And then she was like, losing it. Got, it was so funny. She'd be losing her shit to the point where I didn't even care. I'd just say Ghoster, I'd ignore her.

I'd walk right by her. I'd put headphones on. I didn't, I, it was like she didn't even exist. 

Rob Valincius: Jesus. And that really pissed her off. 

Mike Buchi: Yeah. 

Rob Valincius: Well, look man, um, try to have a good night. I'm going to, uh, I will, will, sir. I'm gonna, I'm gonna go hang out with the wifey and the doggies and, uh, let's hang out soon. 

Mike Buchi: Yes sir.

Man, Tasha, have a good night. It was an honor and pleasure being on here brother, and I'll talk to you soon. Alright brother. Uh, one more thing. Eagles draft prediction next week. Remember I said it, Mike from Narstown, they're trading four picks to get up into the 10th pick and they're gonna draft Jason Graham to replace Brandon Graham who both went to Michigan.

And we're gonna be the number 1D line and repeat and be double Super Bowl champions. Let's go. 

Rob Valincius: I will make sure that I clip this for if you're right or wrong. Ten four. Alright, brother. I love you, dude. Love you too, man.

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