Three Years Later: Burt and Burger Return

Burt and Burger are back on the Drink O’Clock Podcast three years after their first appearance, and a lot has changed.

In this episode, we break down how they accidentally built a viral TikTok brand with their “comment your county” livestream strategy, turned engagement into real revenue, and grew their podcast without missing a week for six years. We also talk Survivor guests including Coach and winner Todd Herzog, content creation burnout, AI, and the reality of building an audience from scratch.

Plus, we revisit Uncle Scott, old podcast arguments, and the chaos that somehow never changes.

If you are a podcaster, creator, or entrepreneur trying to grow organically, this episode delivers real insight wrapped in completely unfiltered comedy.

You can find their podcast Here.

Want to be a guest on Drink O’Clock? Send us a message on PodMatch here:
 podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/drinkoclock

*This is a comedy podcast. We say wild things, we exaggerate, and we joke around. Nothing here should be taken seriously. Relax and enjoy the show.*

Transcript

Intro Song

Burt: Perfect.

Rob Valincius: on a fucking thirsty Thursday. Uh, I gotta, I gotta tell you, I'm pretty excited boys because it's, it's been, and I, I, you know, before, you know, burger decided he was gonna, you know, show up late like he did three years ago. Um, it's been three, a little over three years since our very first podcast, which my podcast was very much in its infancy then, uh, and I was.

We'll say this. I was definitely worried about not having guests every week and, uh, you know that Reddit group is coming handy. But this is the Drink O Clock podcast. I'm your host Rob Valincius, and I have the pleasure of having with me Burt and Burger from the Burt and Burger podcast. Welcome to the show, boys.

Burger: Yo. Happy to be back. Bird's not gonna talk by the way, so, but I'm happy to be

Rob Valincius: I will tell you, I.

Burt: disconnected. I don't know what's going on. Sorry. Okay, whatever. Go ahead.

Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

Rob Valincius: uh, terrible time for that to happen. But I will tell you guys 

Burt: shit. 

Rob Valincius: um, a lot has happened in three years, right? I mean, uh, well for one, we got a new president. 

Burt: True. 

Rob Valincius: have seen how, how that's gone so far. Um. Uh, AI has really taken off, uh, which I'm sure we'll get into 'cause everyone talks about AI these days and, and, uh, you know, a, a host of other things.

However, I'm still alive. You guys are still alive. Uh, so, so that's, I, I guess that's good. Uh, you know, burger, we, I talked with Bird a little bit about this. Did you realize it's been fucking three years since you guys have been on my show? I feel like it was like yesterday.

Burger: No, I, I had no idea. Um, I don't even remember being on this show to be honest with you. So

Burt: Oh

you fucker.

Burger: to a new audience here, so you didn't do anything for us last time. So, um,

Rob Valincius: That. Hey, look, uh, you guys probably helped me more than I helped you last time around. So, uh, at this point I'm, my, my, uh, my listenership is. Better than, uh, than the two people who was probably my mom. My mom that listened to it. Or actually, no, that's a lie. My mom didn't even, didn't even 

Burger: Yeah. my mom hates our show.

Yeah, she fucking hates it.

Burt: That's awesome.

Rob Valincius: I wonder why. I wonder why your mom would hate your show.

Burt: That's so weird.

Burger: Yeah.

Rob Valincius: Um.

Burt: half the time, but whatever.

Burger: Yeah. Mainly bird's, mom.

Rob Valincius: Y. So, um, talk to me boys, what, what has transpired for you guys over the past three years? Man, what have I missed? But Berger, I heard you got married. Um, I hope he treats you really well. Um,

you know, bur I didn't, I didn't 

Burt: not too rough. Yeah. Yeah.

Rob Valincius: Uh, I hope you have a, a reinforced pillow for when you gotta bite down on it, but, um, you know, talk to me a little bit, man. How's, how's life been? How's the podcast been? What have you guys been 

Burger: Well, some things have not changed though. For example, Bert is still gay, so let's just get that out.

Burt: Oh wow.

Burger: that has not changed at all. Um,

Burt: now,

Burger: Hmm, you told me. We gotta be careful what we say on, uh,

on this one. We've, uh, we've kind of left the j the, the, the gay jokes behind and started really diving into some other terrible crimes that he commits.

So I'll just leave that for you guys to your, uh, imagination. Uh, so, but we

evolve. 

Rob Valincius: put it in the show 

Burger: Yeah, we evolve. We

evolve. Uh, so, uh, we, we don't beat, uh, dead horses here. Bur does something way worse to 'em. But, um,

I think, um, uh, I mean, so far so good. Uh, when we were on here, um, last time, did we, did we talk about like the counties and stuff like that, like coloring in counties and all of that?

Rob Valincius: I, I'm gonna be honest with you, I barely, I was saying this to Bert. I barely remember what I did last week. The only thing I remember from the first episode was, uh, uncle Scott,

you guys talking about Uncle Scott and, and the fact that you were also late for the first episode. I don't know how, how long you were late, but it was the same thing.

So that's the only two things I fucking remember from the first 

Burger: Yeah, I hundred pers. I was just laying on the couch. I think I was naked. And Bert starts calling me and Bert only calls me, or I call Bert on emergencies. So.

Rob Valincius: That's what he.

Burger: So,

Burt: I had to pull out the 

Burger: yeah, so I was like, why my wife was next to me, like, why the fuck is Bird calling me? And then I, right when I answered, God damnit, we have a fucking podcast to go on, don't we, son of a

Burt: Uh,

Burger: putting my

undies on, threw his shirt on and everything.

I'm like fucking

Rob Valincius: But why, why I, you guys aren't on camera. Why? Why? Why don't you just do it naked? Why? 

Burger: Yeah. It ain't the first time I've done that, but I got a nice desk chair now. That's one thing that's changed since I got a good

Rob Valincius: ah, okay. You, you don't wanna put the bare ass on it. I get, I 

Burger: put my bare ass on a lot of things. Just not, not my nice chair. So, um, but

Burt: Gosh.

Just the family sofa, 

Burger: Literally just a

Rob Valincius: Just where your guests and anyone else would sit, your bare 

Burt: Uhhuh, lay face down, hammered. Yeah.

Burger: Yeah,

Burt: I've probably inhaled so many burgers ass fumes.

Burger: yeah. In more 

Burt: cannot be good.

Burger: but, 

Burt: Cannot be 

Burger: uh, one thing that we did, I don't know if we were doing this yet, but God, I feel like we were, I don't know if we talked about it, but, uh, we started doing, oh, I fucking hate talking about this. Um, we.

Yeah, It's still happening too, but I would go on TikTok live and I would have a blank map of the United States of America with all of the counties in each state. Okay, so just a blank US map with a bunch of squares in each state and. I would go live and people would start to join. I can just see fucking Rob, just like, Hey,

Burt: Oh boy. Here we go.

Rob Valincius: I am waiting for the hook. I'm waiting for it.

Burger: So, um, I would record, I would go live. People would start hopping in the chat and I would say. Come at your counties, guys in the state that you live in.

Just make sure that you're following here on TikTok in order to have a chance and for a bonus chance where it drastically increases your odds of getting your county added to the map. Go ahead and subscribe to our YouTube channel and boy, do fucking 12 year olds want their goddamn counties colored in.

Rob Valincius: That is wild, dude.

Burger: They're like,

holy fuck. I, I subbed on YouTube and Twitter and Twitch and Instagram. Enjoyed your discord. Johnson County, Mississippi.

Burt: Yeah.

Rob Valincius: Which by the way, any county in Mississippi is the biggest piece of shit on the planet, so 

Burt: Uh, they're so proud though. I love

Rob Valincius: Oh, I hate it.

Burger: people are so excited to

get their fucking counties colored in. It's insane. So.

Rob Valincius: That's some brain dead. No, you guys were, that is ingenious for you guys, but that is 

Burger: No, no, no. You guys here, Rob? No, you guys here,

Burt: Oh, I refuse to 

Burger: is one person that will not help the number one thing that has grown the brand to much higher limits here. Uh, you know, rivaling Mr. Fucking beast here with all of this shit now, so, yeah.

Rob Valincius: That is actually hilarious 

Burger: So that's what. We started doing, no, we again, I don't see, now I'm following

for your trap, Rob.

God damn it. Um, but

Burt: I don't not want credit 

Burger: I, I, I started doing, and, and let me tell you Rob, I have made thousands of dollars off of this too, by the way, like.

Rob Valincius: That's

absurd to me.

Absolutely 

Burger: myself a very nice PC in which bur and I can stream to three people on Twitch on. But then I turned around to my shitty laptop, fire up TikTok, and there's thousands and thousands of comments in there, and it's like. Trending and it's a huge fucking live stream and everything, and it's just like, Hey guys, you know, for a bonus chance, go sub to our YouTube link in bio and then we'll just see the YouTube subs go up and up and up. And then eventually people are like, shut the fuck up, you fat piece of shit and color in my county.

So I'm like, damn dude. Damn dude.

Rob Valincius: So, so do you guys cherry pick, like how do you decide who actually gets the count? Like it's gotta be moving quickly, so like, are you just looking for names that, that 

Burger: I see who, uh, paid the highest. So that's usually where I start. I see whoever,

whoever gave me the highest donation off of their parents' credit card. Um, but I, I'm very peculiar on my language, so I make sure I say, uh, comere County and make sure you're following for a chance to get your county colored in. That's the big one there. So I guess if Sol Goodman's watching this, like, I, I am covered, uh, with everything. Uh,

but uh, and then if, if people don't, and so yeah, I can see if they gifted and I can also, they tell me if they subscribed or not, uh, or they followed on whatever social media unplugging. So I try to get those people done with first, but then other than that, yeah, I'm just picking people at random.

I see their following, and then I just Google it real quick and color it in, and then onto the next,

Rob Valincius: Where did you come up with this? You're just like, I need like, just like a retarded way for 

Burger: you know. 

Rob Valincius: jump in and

Burger: I'm pretty sure that's all we said in our last episode was retarded. That's the one thing I do remember from this fucking

Rob Valincius: it's back.

Burger: and you told us that we have to watch what we say on this one, and then here you are bringing up retard or as Burt calls it, the hard R um,

Rob Valincius: The hard R is back. It's it, the hard R is back. It's in again. 

Okay. That's all I'm saying.

Burger: dude, I thought we were supposed to be good. Here you are fucking not following your own rules. So watch this.

Burt: Careful.

Burger: You're gonna, you're gonna,

you're gonna get Burt too comfortable

Rob Valincius: I'm just waving the, the 

Burt: Oh boy. 

Rob Valincius: the red carpet or whatever for the fucking bull burger's 

Burt: Uhhuh. 

Burger: Yeah, yeah. Careful. I was watching my mouth here. Um,

but dude, I mean, what ended up happening was, I think. I saw somebody doing this already on TikTok, but it wasn't live like they were just, they were on their iPad and they like zoomed in on a county and colored it in and that was it. Like they were making videos on it

and I was like, oh, okay.

Neat. And then one night probably, or about 4 0 7 in the morning, I got up to take a we and literally right then and there I was like, I bet I could do that on livestream. Went back to bed. So

if that ain't divine intervention, I don't know what

Burt: Alright.

Burger: so.

Burt: That's an

entrepreneurial spirit there. 

Rob Valincius: So,

so, then you text Bert saying, I think I have a genius idea. Do you wanna be involved? And Bert says, absolutely not, but I'll.

I'll reap the benefits.

Burger: Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Burt: I'll watch from a distance.

Burger: So it started off with me just making those videos too, and then people would comment on the videos. Then I would say, don't forget, you gotta be following. So then everyone starts following, following, following. Then when you get enough followers, you can go live on TikTok. And then that's when it really started to take off, uh, at that point.

So, um, and, and. It was getting to the point to where our Burt and Burger, TikTok was just the hat. So, uh, what I ended up doing is I made a different TikTok account a couple years ago now called Comment Your County, and. my branding.

Burt: Just skipping right over.

Burger: Started out with zero followers and now that account has grown to more than the original Burton Breaker fucking, uh, TikTok is and um, yeah, has like over 20,000 followers I think.

And um, every time I hop on, it's just hundreds of more followers. So I try to get them to go

to Burton Berger. I try 

and they just don't give a fuck about

it. But some do, some do. And

Rob Valincius: Now, are you, are you showing, are you showing your face or. 

Burger: Fuck no. 

Rob Valincius: All right. So it's, you're still playing anonymity

Burger: just my hands. They see my, they they, they see my fucking like little sausage fingers, but that's about it.

Rob Valincius: I was saying. And they're still calling you a fat piece of shit. That's, that's the 

Burger: they're mean 

Rob Valincius: is so 

Burger: mean. Um, but I, I, dude, I, I literally pull up the picture on my laptop, and then I have my phone on a tripod and I just talk to the fucking camera and, and things like that.

So that, that's it. And then we just get a bunch, a bunch, a bunch of people, um, uh, coming through, um, with it. And the, our hope is we'll get, um, thousands of people. Going over to our social medias and things like that. And then most of 'em leave after that. Like, fuck you. I'm not staying subbed. But most people forget.

So it makes us look a lot better than we really are. And then we're hoping, out of those few people, they're like, all right, let's check out this podcast, by the way. Let's check it out.

Burt: Let's see what they're about.

Burger: about.

Rob Valincius: Like, 

Burger: Yeah, exactly. So out of this

1000 people, 15, actually wanna check out the show, and then three out of the 15 stay around and become fans. So that's

Rob Valincius: I mean, that's, that's, I feel like that's just a general, like, that's not just 

Burger: mm-hmm. 

Rob Valincius: that's, unless you're like a Rogan, I mean, that's still a, like, good percentage. I mean, especially you got, it's not like you're paying to do marketing. You're literally, it's all organic.

Burger: Yeah,

so 

Rob Valincius: Burger. You, you, you're, you're a genius

Burger: appreciate it. So like I said, um, that, that late night we changed my life forever,

Burt: Oh God.

Burger: we have, um, I think our big thing right now, our numbers are still fucking terrible. By the way. If you look at all of our followers list, it's like really bad. But it's really nice to see like 500 followers on Twitter versus. 17. So that's cool. Um, and it

makes it so when we try to get a guest on the show, um, they check it out and they don't see like this dead fucking Instagram or something and they're like, who the fuck are

these guys? So it makes it look a little bit more competent. Uh, with that, I've also learned just to send people our Spotify 'cause they can't see our follower account and uh, they don't get to see our tweets. So when Bert's over here. Talking about CU coconuts and stuff, 

Burt: He

shit. 

Burger: Yeah,

Burt: God.

Rob Valincius: Have you guys had like a guest pop on and they had no idea what your show was about and they're like, holy fuck, what did I get myself into?

Burger: I think it'd be better to

ask who didn't ask that once they came on.

Rob Valincius: I that Reddit group, um. You get some interesting people. I've, I've gotten, um, I've gotten away from using it. I only post every couple months, like if I wanna fill, like, I like to fill three to four months out at this point so I don't have to worry about anything. And so when I hit that two to three month mark, I'm like, all right, I'll post in Reddit and some of the pe and I'm not gonna name names, but I've had, I've had a couple that I have, I'm sitting on the recording going, I have to be very desperate.

To post this episode because I actually just, I went the week without posting it. I'm like, I, I'm at a point now. I used to never miss, I, I'm like, I can't miss, I have to post something and I would post just dog shit episodes. And I'm like, I'm at a point where people actually listen, so I'm like, I, I can't post something that's not like if I'm listening to it while I'm editing it.

And you guys, I'm sure like understand like if you're listening to it and you don't like giggle a little bit or like laugh or get something out of it. If I get none of that an entire episode, there's no way I'm posting it zero.

Burt: Yeah.

Rob Valincius: Like I'd have to be legitimately wasted drunk to post a shitty fucking episode.

At this point, I'd rather post nothing and just not, I, I don't even say anything. I'll just not post something for that week and say, fuck it. Um. Which, I mean, I'm sure there's a lot of other podcasts out there that, you know, I, a guy I interviewed once, he posted I think every week for like three years. It was like 200.

It was, I don't know, some crazy shit. I'm like, dude, I'm like. There, there, I, I could have did that if I posted, you know, this person who believed that, you know, they could eat their own shit and get health benefits or whatever the fucking crazy shit is that you get and you're like, but I, I can't post that unless it's like I actually really do love the batshit crazy people.

They make for great episodes. Which you definitely get some of those from Reddit,

you 

Burt: Uh. 

Rob Valincius: Um, 'cause I've definitely gotten those and they were my favorite 'cause. And you could watch the episodes, like if you watch some of my YouTube where my face is just like. Like, in my head I'm like, this is great. I can't wait to post this shit.

People are gonna be like, 

Burt: Uhhuh. 

Rob Valincius: wrong with this person? Um, but that's, I mean, that's Reddit in a nutshell anyway, you know?

Burger: Mm-hmm.

Burt: Yeah, I think I saw one of those the other day. I did, I did Snoop a little bit and I 

Burger: Burton didn't know who you were. 

Burt: through some of your shorts on YouTube.

Burger: like,

Burt: Yeah.

Burger: another podcast.

Burt: no, there was, there was a couple of that

Rob Valincius: Yeah, I, dude, I gotta get better. I gotta get better with my socials, man. I have so much content saved that I just, I have a full-time job. You know, you guys know what it's, it's like, it's hard to like get around to fucking doing it even with ai, 'cause AI doesn't do that great of a job at like curating good 

Burt: see like halfway there. 

Rob Valincius: Yeah, it might pull some good clips, but it's, it's not pulling like the best clips and only you really know what the best clip is. So it's like, um, I, if I had a producer, I'd be fine, you know, but when, when I'm doing everything all on my own, it's gets to a point where I'm like, and I hate fucking social 

Burger: I know what it's like to do everything on your own.

Burt: Wow. Do you

Burger: I sure do.

Burt: uhhuh?

Burger: It's a lonely world out here, Rob, 

Rob Valincius: So. So, that's, and when did you guys start that? You started that around three years, four years ago, or the county thing,

Burger: Yeah. Somewhere around there.

Rob Valincius: because I don't remember you talking about that the, the first time around. So that had to, it had to be like right after

Burger: Well, I know this new one I made is two years old. Fuck. Is it two years or did we just hit a year? God dammit. I don't know.

Burt: Holy shit.

I would believe two years, only one would be kind of crazy, but.

Burger: Well, he didn't say one Yeary dumb fuck, he said three or four years ago.

Burt: I thought you just said one or two. What the hell?

Burger: County one.

Burt: Yeah, I know you just made your new one. Whatever. I don't fucking 

Burger: This is how we make our money, by the way, is you just saw, you just saw a glimpse into it right there.

Burt: Yeah,

Burger: Uh,

Rob Valincius: I mean, you guys are like a dynamic 

Burger: fucking miserable. 

Rob Valincius: uh, Beavis and Butthead,

Burger: Yeah. 

Rob Valincius: Batman and Robin. You know,

Burger: Okay, so the first one I made on Comere

County was August 22nd, 2024.

So yeah, this is coming up on two years, this new one here. So, and then when we, we started doing it on

b and b, um, a little bit longer than that, so, oh, cool. Bird didn't post fucking highlight clips too neat. Just finding this out.

Burt: Oh my

God. 

Burger: Uh, I fucking hate

Burt: Hey, I've been busy 

Burger: No, you have

Burt: Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. I

said yesterday, but tomorrow.

For real.

For real. This time.

Burger: Yeah.

Rob Valincius: So, so I feel like for us, let's, let's reminisce a little bit. You know, I, I think we should update on some of the things we talked about from episode one, which 

Burt: Oh hell yeah. 

Rob Valincius: to it before I fucking remembered, uh, what was going on. So, uncle Scott, let's start, is he still alive?

Uh, does he have a job and is he legally allowed to be in a 

Burger: Here's my answer to all those. I have no fucking idea, dude. No fucking clue.

Um, alright, so, um, Scott is still alive. Uh.

Rob Valincius: Good. That's good.

Burt: Allegedly I.

Burger: Some about 19 months ago, I think. Um, no,

um, I don't know. It's been like a month or two since I've seen him and I went into his, uh, his room that he has, he, he has an apartment that has a room that's a little bit bigger than a coat closet and he had a little mini fridge in

there 

Burt: bad.

Burger: I opened it. He had a pan of Kraft mac and cheese in it, and it looked like you needed a fucking jackhammer to take it out.

And I'm like, yo, that looks gross. He's like, I gotta throw that away. I better throw that away. That's been there for a while.

Burt: No fucking shit. It's turning into another 

Burger: Starting to move, 

Rob Valincius: Kraft Mac and cheese is not real to begin with.

So if you let it sit 

Burger: He didn't even put a wrapper over it

He just put the whole pan in the fridge

Burt: gosh. 

Rob Valincius: What is Uncle 

Burger: Yeah. I don't know What he planned on doing. He's like, yeah, I gotta throw that away. And 

I,

Burt: scratching 

Rob Valincius: only 

Burger: yeah, he goes, I asked him a few weeks ago if he ended up throwing the mac of cheese away, and he didn't know what the fuck I was talking about.

And then I told him, he's like, yeah, no, I did, I, I threw that away. I'm surprised I didn't throw the whole fucking pan away. I'm like, yeah, I don't know how you save that

Burt: the whole fridge.

Burger: So.

Rob Valincius: gotta fucking burn the fridge after that. Jesus.

Burger: So, uh, he, uh, I think he can go into a Walmart. He does not want to. Um, he's, he's pretty bothered by it, um, you know,

Burt: No way.

Burger: hanging cuffs and everything.

So, um, and I think he got a job recently. Uh, he, he's been washing dishes for a long time. Uh, dish.

Rob Valincius: I don't believe it. I 

Burger: Dish dog. Yeah, he's been a dish dog, uh, as he calls it. then that place went outta business and now I think he's working somewhere else, washing more dishes. So, um,

it's a,

Rob Valincius: It's the one thing I hate doing as an adult. I fucking hate dishes, man. 

Burt: That's 

Burger: Yeah.

I don't know. I mean,

Scott, 

Burt: Burger loves him.

Burger: Um, don't get

me started. Um.

Burt: Uhhuh.

Burger: I just, I don't know how Scott hasn't killed himself yet because he's like, he's not doing anything with his life. I mean, he's 50 something years old, I think he's fucking almost 60,

and 

Burt: Geez, 

Burger: lives in a room that's probably, I don't know how big your podcast studio is, but it ain't too much bigger, uh, than whatever you got.

Rob Valincius: It. Yeah, it's not 

Burt: do you have that wall behind you? Yeah, it's about 

Burger: Yeah. Stand up, stretch your hands out and if you can almost touch each side, your room's bigger than Scott's. Um, no, but

That's all he has. And, um, and he washes dishes and I'm like, what else do you do? Like, nothing that's so.

Burt: Happy

Rob Valincius: mean, it makes you feel good about yourself though, right? I mean, you know, there's been bad days where I'm like, man, what did I do with my life? And hearing Uncle Scott's story, I'm like, I'm doing pretty well. 

Burger: Yeah, but the thing is, is like, I think Scott's too fucking stupid to realize how bad he has it. Like, it's like, ain't you embarrassed?

Burt: Just another day.

Rob Valincius: Could you imagine, uh, him dating, like having a woman over and going and going, Hey, uh, if you want some mac and cheese sits in the fridge,

Burt: you're hungry.

Burger: yeah. No.

Rob Valincius: uh, it's not covered, because that's what psychopaths do. 

Burger: I don't believe in any kind of, you know, rubbers or anything. He says not wrapping

anything up 

Burt: Oh 

Rob Valincius: no, 

Burt: God.

Burger: um, 

Rob Valincius: That is quite true. I mean, the pullout method's, 99.9%

Burger: it depends when you're pulling out, but yeah. Um,

Burt: Oh boy.

Rob Valincius: I didn't know there was phases. I didn't know 

Burger: yeah, yeah, you gotta do it at the right time. But, um, Scott is actually. Not a bad looking guy either by any means. Uh, I think he had massive pull when he was younger. Um,

I think, I think he, my, um, my mom said

Burt: Where's this going? Okay. Where?

Burger: sister, I, I told this on the Burton show, but, um, something that they were at some fucking open house. And my mom went out to go have a smoke, and all of a sudden she saw her brother fucking fall out of a minivan, bare ass naked and said, I'm coming baby. And then jumped back in the fucking van door and slammed it behind him. So,

Rob Valincius: Jesus. So he got all his play, like when he could, you 

Burger: yeah, yeah. Not, not no more. Yeah. I, yeah, he's, he's probably basically a virgin at

this point. He's gone so many years 

without anything that it, he just has his V card back.

Rob Valincius: he goes to come and it's just, you know, it's like 

Burger: I don't, yeah. Yeah. I don't know about that. I think he definitely comes still,

this motherfucker watches so much porn, so much fucking

Burt: God.

Rob Valincius: I wanna ask how you know that,

but 

Burger: he tells me, I

hook his phone up for him. He is like, okay, now how do I watch porn on it?

Burt: Okay.

Burger: So I show 'em.

Rob Valincius: Well, at least he's got good wifi, I guess.

Burger: him how and, and, and he's, he's well past that now because he, he understands how smartphones work now, and he says, yeah, I don't really do a whole lot on my, my phone. I, I listen to my Spotify, I watch YouTube and porn. That's about it.

Rob Valincius: The 

Burt: least he's straight 

Rob Valincius: vices of life, I guess.

Burt: Exactly. What more could you want?

Burger: Yeah, so simple man. Simple man. I hope I get to a point in my life to where the simple things in life make me happy. Like Scott, that's about the only quality I want from Scott though, unfortunately.

Rob Valincius: Yeah, I mean, I guess when you're, you dumb as shit. I mean like, like my dog get captain, I love him to death. He's dumb as shit. Un, unless it's food, food related. He's, you know, he's smart as shit when it comes to food. He knows how to manipulate. The system for food. But other than that, he's just always fucking happy.

But he's dumb as shit.

Burger: Yeah.

Rob Valincius: My girl dog smart as fuck, and she could be such a fucking little 

Burger: Does your, uh, boy, dog, uh, fuck other dogs?

Rob Valincius: no. 

Burger: then Now bur and him aren't alike.

Rob Valincius: I.

Burt: Oh wow. Wow,

Burger: sounded like they were two in the same there, but,

Burt: Holy.

Rob Valincius: So, so, so Bert, what are you into, uh, you know, chihuahuas, uh, Labradors. 

Burt: Oh God. 

Rob Valincius: Man,

Burt: I think you gotta spice it up.

Burger: He likes St. Bernard's.

Burt: Oh my God. Hell no.

Rob Valincius: it's a, it's a big fucking dog, man.

Burt: Yeah,

Burger: He likes being 

Burt: that's uh. That's a life choice. Yeah. Holy shit.

Rob Valincius: That's, that's a, at the bar at 1:45 AM and you've had a lot of whiskey type talk that you're bringing home there, 

Burger: Now Burt's real

Burt: Uhhuh.

Burger: when he, uh. When he fucks it. But have you guys seen the,

Burt: Okay.

Burger: new

Naked, 

Rob Valincius: You don't wanna get whiskey dog dick. That's just, 

Burt: no.

Burger: have you guys 

Burt: That's embarrassing for 

Burger: uh, the new Naked Gun movie with Liam Neeson in it?

Rob Valincius: I have. 

Burger: Yeah. There's that scene where the guy's spying on him with the shadows and it just looks like he's there having a threesome with the dog.

Rob Valincius: Yeah, 

Burt: Yeah,

Yeah. 

Burger: Yeah.

Rob Valincius: that's actually 

Burger: Bert.

but with two

dogs instead of fucking Paris

Hilton or whoever it was.

Burt: God.

Rob Valincius: So I, I, I, I see the dynamic of, of your partnership has not changed at all. So that's, that's 

Burt: Oh hell no.

Burger: No.

So the jokes are still there.

Burt: Wow.

Rob Valincius: you know. I was gonna ask you, who do you think secretly cares more about your podcast? But I feel like we already know the answer to that. Um, so there was another question that I feel like was more pertinent for you guys, uh, because I'm sure there's plenty.

What's an argument that you two have had on the podcast that still has not been settled yet? And can we settle it 

Burt: All of 

Burger: got a minute. 

Burt: No, no.

Rob Valincius: Gimme the top three. I'd love to hear the top three.

Burger: Ugh. 

Um. 

Burt: was our, whether or not chocolate was a candy bar. I think that was one of 'em or something.

Burger: yeah, we were trying to do some cute,

um, we were trying to do some cute list of like our favorite candies.

And, uh, it was like a drone. It's so fucking stupid.

Burt: So fucking dumb.

Burger: gosh. It was like a draft, right? So you're like, all right, make a team of candies and you would take turns drafting candies.

And this motherfucker

Burt: Oh.

Burger: thought it could only be candy bars 'cause it was like, make a team of candy bars. And I made it very clear that it meant all candy. Uh, Bert only played by the bar rule, so he was like saying Snickers and Milky Ways and things that he doesn't even like, but really? And I'm like, no, no, no, no. It's candy. And he's like, no candy bar. Okay. It has to be shaped like a bar. I'm like, no, that's just something you say like gonna make a candy bar kind of thing and end.

Burt: God, I just, okay. I'm starting to get pissed off again. We gotta cut this off. We gotta cut 

Burger: was the closest I got to hitting my desk while talking to him.

Because it was supposed 

Burt: hammer bringing the hammer down.

Burger: little draft, your favorite candy thing. That was a little segment we were

doing, and then we go on to the next part.

Burt: are the worst ones too. It's not like calling each other's mom's hoards or something. It's literally over fucking candy or some stupid bullshit like that.

Rob Valincius: The definition of Kandy over Kandy bar.

Burger: I

told him the rules of it too. But then what he does, he does though, is when he's wrong, he just starts to really

dig his feet in and, uh,

Burt: Oh yeah.

Burger: else that you're saying. So, um,

Burt: I

like, I like.

visibly shake like

it's 

Rob Valincius: so you're getting to the end because there's only so many decent candy bars, so you're like mounds and the burger's like, what the fuck are you talking about? Mounds?

Burger: Or no? No. You know what, it was Bert, it was, uh, the, the highest selling candy. Right? I think that's what it

Burt: Oh, we had to 

Burger: Yeah. it was.

it was the highest selling candy of all time. And Bert was only

Burt: And I said, there's no way Hershey's is up there. It's not a bar 

Burger: Yeah. And It was Reese's. And the re the answer was Reese's.

Burt: Yeah. This is 

Burger: fucking 

Burt: goddamn bar.

Burger: And I'm like, what are you talking 

Burt: Yeah. Wow. I was pissed.

Rob Valincius: Okay. I could see that. I could, I could see the, where there'd be a disconnect, but yeah, I mean, Reese's is, I mean, it's 

Burger: Yeah, but here's the thing though, you fucking dumb ass. It was we, it was the top five and like four of them were not candy bars.

It was like 

Burt: So I should have got a 

Burger: it was like m and ms. 

Burt: at the end. Uhhuh,

Burger: So

I,

don't know what the fuck he was getting at, and it was just pissing me off.

Burt: uh,

Rob Valincius: So, I mean, yeah, I look, Reese's is just, at this 

Burger: He didn't even guess Reese's. He had a fucking Google like candy.

Burt: I 

Burger: He was like, okay, I gotta look up candy. And then, then it literally, right when he typed in candy, you know, Reese's pops up immediately. He's like, wow.

Burt: Wow.

Rob Valincius: Yeah, I mean, look in Philly, dude, you're gonna see Reese. I mean, Reese's is fucking everywhere. And on top of it,

it's, so, I don't know if you've seen, yeah, I don't know if you've seen the fucking recent concoction, but it's, it's a Reese's Oreo mashup and 

Burt: one's fucking nuts. 

Rob Valincius: It, it's probably delicious, but it's also probably 2% real food.

Like,

have you seen the videos of Oreo where they like line 'em up and they try to light them on fire and they don't light, they have like a flame thrower and they're trying to light the fucking, it's like the double stuffed Oreo, and you're like,

I'm eating that. It tastes delicious. But then you realize like it's probably 99% plastic and fucking chemicals that are killing you.

Burt: it's not good. Yeah.

Rob Valincius: No tastes delicious.

I was, uh, I was talking to my dad today on my way home and, uh, we were talking about KFC and for some reason he, he, he brought up like, you know, 'cause we, we were talking about, um, we, when I was younger for some reason, and KFC was actually legit. You know, I'll be 40, so we're talking 30, we'll say 30 years ago.

KFC was delicious. The chicken actually had chicken on it, like you got their, uh, wedges. I, I love potato wedges. Their wedges were fucking giant. There was potato in them. You go to A KFC, now everything looks like they picked it from like, like the chicken was from Ethiopia. The potato was from Ethiopia.

Like, like you, you, the wedge. There's no potato to it. It just, there's no, it's not stiff of any, it's, it's awful. And that's just like a microcosm of everything that we're, we're putting in our bodies. Now. It's fucking ridiculous. It actually 

Burt: Uh. 

Rob Valincius: me a bit,

you know, you could spend five bucks on fucking good food. And it was actually food. And now you can't even spend 10 bucks and get something that's, you know, relatively real food. You 

Burger: Yeah, I hear you, Rob. I just wanted to just

be quiet though, so that you can hear how fucking stupid a show is when Bert takes the reins

Burt: Oh God.

Burger: Nice fucking awkward. Silence. He was trying

to give you a fucking se. He gave you an

opening to say something you jackass and you didn't do it.

Burt: I'm thinking,

I'm

thinking of 

Burger: yeah.

He volleyed it and it 

Rob Valincius: I 

Burt: know the fat kid we're talking about fucking candy. You think I'd be excited to talk about 

Burger: fuck and how much you love talking

Burt: I know

Burger: is setting you up. And 

Burt: is home turf.

Burger: he, he stopped talking and everything and you didn't do nothing. So damn, I'll literally DM

him when we have a guest on it.

I'm like, well, you fucking talk, you idiot.

Burt: I am literally playing with my beard thinking. I'm like, Hmm, what angle can I attack here?

Rob Valincius: Were you, were you combing your beard like 10 minutes ago? Because 

Burt: I may or may not 

Rob Valincius: hear it. You could 

Burt: fuck's sake, 

Rob Valincius: I thought you were combing your hair. And I'm like, oh, 

Burt: Oh fuck 

Rob Valincius: or, or what?

Burt: no, I play with it too much. It's not good. I mean, there's a lot of 

Burger: I play with something else too much too.

Burt: holy fuck. Holy 

shit. Yeah. Gosh. 

Rob Valincius: me nuts, dude. I. It's the 

Burger: I'm, uh, I, I'm

not talking about this. I'm not, I can't listen to Bert talk about this shit. I can't. Um, yeah. KFC though is fucking mid.

Rob Valincius: it's dude, it's, it's, I don't know what happened, man. It used to be delicious. And look, I'm in Philly. You know this KFC's everywhere, but there're, there's actually outnumbered now at this point by Popeye's and at least Popeye's. You get a chicken sandwich from there. It's, there's some chicken. It's, it's not this like Ethiopian fucking.

Armageddon 

Burger: something? I'm ashamed to admit and

Burt: Oh boy.

Burger: I've seen those.

Rob Valincius: you gonna tell me you get chicken tenders from 

Burger: No. So it's

worse. Um. My cousin has been accused of very heinous crimes. No, I'm kidding. But, 

um, um, 

Burt: That surprise nobody. 

Burger: those videos of where they're like showing you how hot dogs are made or how chicken nuggets are made, and it's like really gross at first, and then the end product

comes out looking delicious.

Like, I don't care. Like if they fucking, like,

Burt: That's childhood right there. 

Burger: they fucking like took like scraped gum off of someone's shoe. Like mixed dirt in it and then fried it like that. I don't think I'd care, like, at all. So like you're, you're sitting here talking about like, you, the fucking Oreo won't even catch on fire.

And I'm like, nah. It's just, I don't care. You know? I, I don't, I don't, I

don't give a fuck, you

know? Like it's, if it's not going to kill me, um, like arson or something and it's FDA approved, then. You think I like? Why do I care if an Oreo catches on fire or not, fucker tastes good, then it fucking tastes good.

Like I don't give a shit.

Rob Valincius: Well, it's the same. I, okay. I, I, I think it depends. It depends. Like we're from, we're from pa PA's known for Scrapple. Have you ever had Scrapple?

Burt: No.

Rob Valincius: Scrapple is ba. When you're done this podcast, go on YouTube and see how Scrapple made. It's basically all of the parts of, you know, a pig that you. Wouldn't find in a store.

So it's dick balls feet. Well, some people eat pig feet. It might be pig knees, like the fucking brain and shit. It's, and, and it's just melted into a barrel and they, they mush it all together and then they make it, it's like you buy it in a, it's just a brown brick of mystery meat.

And it 

Burt: fuck.

Burger: a 

Rob Valincius: It dick balls and feet.

That's all it is. It is 

Burt: That's my search history. 

Rob Valincius: It is

Burt: Oh god 

Rob Valincius: Uh, but no really, dude, you just, you fry it on a pan a little bit. It's crispy all on the outside. It's like a, like a mushy on the inside and it's delicious. But if you see how it's made, it's just like a hot, it's worse than a hot dog. It makes hot dogs look like you're getting that shit from a five star restaurant.

Burger: Well, I, I,

no, I gotta, I gotta be clear though, like I am like a picky eater. Like, I think, like if I fucking. Like, try to eat like raw octopus tentacle or something. I'd fucking

gag like crazy or something. I'm just

more like under, like, if it looks good, then I don't care at all, uh, kind of thing. If they were like, yo, this is fucking goat cum or something, and it, and it looked like fucking chicken strips from fucking Popeye's, I'm like,

all right. Like, I don't care.

Burt: Sure. 

Rob Valincius: I'll try it.

Burt: Give her a rip.

Burger: say, huh?

Rob Valincius: What does one dip a c chicken tender in as the sauce? 

Burger: That's a question for 

my cohost. 

Rob Valincius: C or

Burt: Wow. Wow. Oh wow.

Rob Valincius: waiting on you bur.

Burger: Yeah. 

Burt: yeah.

Burger: once again,

you were literally even told to answer the question

Burt: Okay.

Burger: you're like, Y Yeah.

Burt: I am giggling too much. I gotta clear my throat.

Burger: Man,

Burt: Yeah.

Burger: idiot.

Rob Valincius: But

if you can find scrapple in your areas, you should try it. It's, it doesn't, it just looks like mystery meat, but it tastes delicious. That's, that's really 

Burger: know, one thing I've been wondering, 

Burt: it's kinda like

spam. 

Rob Valincius: Little ketchup. It's 

Burger: I got a, I got a question, Rob.

Rob Valincius: Hit me.

Burger: Um, do you see how he responded there, Bert, that's what you're supposed to do. 

Um. 

Burt: Wow. Okay. I am taking notes, so I'll get my pen 

Burger: you still have a hot wife? 

You didn't say 

Rob Valincius: Yeah. She's still 

Burger: she's not hot. Not no more.

Burt: Oh.

Burger: Nice. So you still have like the, you can you, you, you. What is that Charra fucking model

Rob Valincius: Yes. 

Burger: wife. Damn. Let's see if she's still

us on Burt and Burger.

Rob Valincius: Hey, hey, uh, babe, if uh, you're not following Burton Berg on Instagram, you should do 

Burger: She was, see if the

asshole still is. 

Rob Valincius: She's like, why does that sound familiar?

Burt: Yeah, that is not good. That is

Rob Valincius: Does that mean there's, there's just been a burger Dick and her DM somewhere?

Burt: Probably

Rob Valincius: No face, just so you don't know who it is.

Burt: It is crazy sharing an account with this dude. I'll just go through the dms of him, like reaching out to people and seeing shit. It's like I haven't seen anything too crazy yet, but I am waiting for the, the surprise Dick pic or something

Rob Valincius: Look, I will say this, the amount of dicks that she got gets on a regular basis. Uh, I'll never forget this one, dude, I was so 

Burger: Yo, she is still following us. Let's go. Mm-hmm.

Rob Valincius: Okay. You're still following him. Good. All 

Burt: There we go. 

Rob Valincius: Um, oh, really? She said, oh, really? I didn't 

Burt: Oh shit. 

Rob Valincius: Um, there's this, there's this guy, he's gotta be 60. And he's in bed and he's got his little fucking dick in his hand.

And I'm guessing it's hard. And he was so proud of it and he, he sent it to her like just unsolicited. There's, she doesn't answer or read or look at the s but it got to, I think, I think it was one of those things where she wanted to show me the shit that she gets and she's like, look at this. And I'm like, oh, Jesus Christ.

No. Hey, hello. Hi. People do have conversations with themselves, which is even more hilarious. It's like, Hey, how you doing? I hope you're doing well. I would love to see you someday. And it's just like they'll be talking for years and she never, she never looks at the dms. Um, but yet the amount of dicks and then the one that pissed me off the most, uh, which I will never forget, we'll be 90 and I'll be bringing this up.

This guy, like if you, he looked, he looked retarded. Uh, you go on his Facebook and in his bio it says, uh, unemployed and disabled. And I think he was in a wheelchair,

right? Yeah. Uncle Scott, basically. And, and, and he's asking her, he's like, Hey, I saw that. You know, I guess we posted a picture together. She's like, Hey, I saw you with that guy.

You should leave him for me. Um, you know, and, and like, he probably has either a good job or a big dick and blah, blah, blah, but, and I'm like.

Burger: either true. 

Rob Valincius: Are you this guy? No.

Burt: boy.

He really 

Rob Valincius: guy is talking, this guy is talking shit from his Facebook about me when he's literally disabled and unemployed. And I'm like, he's like, call, he like called me ugly and I'm like.

What the fuck is this shit? I wanted to send him a message so bad, like, look, you fucking retard. Like, don't talk shit about me. You can't even walk down the street. Um, and uh, I didn't, I I if, 'cause if I did that, then I'd have to do it for all of 'em. And there, there's just too many to yell at, at the end of the day.

Um, but yeah. Yeah, that's, I mean, that's being a hot chick online man. You get, you get a lot of dicks sent to you.

Burger: Well, I mean, that's not the only reason why you get a lot of dicks sent to you. Burt's not a hot chick and,

Burt: Holy.

Holy. 

Rob Valincius: has a, a, a Dick album. You know his favorites.

Burt: Okay.

Burger: Mm-hmm.

Burt: They get auto

filtered. I got an AI for that. Yeah.

Rob Valincius: there's a dick AI now. Hey, 

Burt: Yeah. 

Rob Valincius: make AI for anything. I don't know.

Burger: Need one of them.

Rob Valincius: Um. I will say this, I will say this. Uh, I, as you know, even as far back as like horny 19-year-old me, have never in my head said, I'm going to take a picture of my dick and send it unsolicited to a human on the internet with no hi or hello or anything about this.

Like this is a great idea and I'm gonna do it now. Never.

Burger: The only time I thought like that was to send it to Bert.

Burt: Okay. Wow.

Burger: That was 

Burt: I have actually gotten dick pics from people I know that are just piss drunk 

Burger: Well, I, I mean, you've, you are that person by the way. I've seen your fucking cock the same

way. You dumb fuck. 

Burt: True,

true, true, 

Burger: I

remember like that was one time like Bert doubled down too, because I'm like, you haven't seen my cocking balls before? He goes, I've seen your balls buddy.

Burt: yeah.

Burger: was like, 

so, matter of 

Burt: You're sending me fucking, laying down on the couch. Thought it was silly. Like, what the fuck is this?

Burger: Well, I was like playing guitar or

Burt: Thank God I can't 

Burger: in a robe and I'm like, like I had to adjust myself and my buddy who saw your cock. Like I was wondering if anybody saw that little guy.

Burt: Okay.

Rob Valincius: Hey, look, man, sometimes, sometimes the groundhog has to pop out, you know, and then six weeks, six more weeks of winter, you know?

Burger: Yeah.

Rob Valincius: Now, you know, I think, um, we talked in the first episode, um, about Russell Hans.

Burt: Oh shit.

It's a burger's idol. 

Rob Valincius: I, I, don't remember, but I know that there's. I, I know that I, maybe at the time there was a fallout with Russell and, uh,

Burt: damn. That was three years ago. Holy 

Burger: years ago. Holy shit.

Burt: make a podcast with him?

Burger: that was like

six months ago. 

Rob Valincius: So.

Burt: six years ago. Fucking,

Rob Valincius: fo I wanted to follow up and see how, uh, you know, what's going 

Burger: Well, what, what? What do you remember? What did we say? How do you know who Russell

Burt: Before we dig ourselves in hole here,

Rob Valincius: I, I don't remember. I just know that we talked about him. Oh, shit.

I know that we talked about 

Burger: who Russell Hans is. He's just.

Rob Valincius: No, no, it's, I remember, I remember you guys, I remember you guys bringing him up because he was gonna be on your show, I think, right? And or something 

Burger: Dude. 

Rob Valincius: trying to remember.

Burger: was three fucking years ago. That's insane.

Burt: Damn.

Burger: Damn. Um, uh, boy, I, uh.

Rob Valincius: It's the beauty of going back and trying to remember what the fuck we talked about the 

Burger: I really loved Russell

Burt: Yeah.

Burger: a lot, and, uh, they say, don't meet your heroes. And I got in a 54 minute phone call with him and he was pissed fucking drunk, telling me about all the pussy he's gotten and all this shit. I just sat there and just listened like a fucking kid in a candy store. Like, holy fuck, this is insane. Um, and he wanted to start a podcast with me and then about it, never heard from him again. He unfollowed me and

everything so well. Um, yeah, Russell's kind of piece shit. Damn good survivor player though. Damn, that man knew what he was doing. Um, but, um. So, yeah, that's about the updates with Russell. But, uh, you asked us about the podcast and that's probably one of our biggest flexes is we have had, um, coach on our podcast who's a huge survivor legend, and we,

Rob Valincius: Yeah, I think I even know him and I 

Burger: Yeah, So coach, coach came on the show. He was one of those people that I think didn't have any fucking idea of what he was getting himself into. Um, and then we got, um, Todd Herzog on the podcast as well, and he is actually one survivor. He won Survivor 15. So we actually had a survivor winner come on the show. Um, and. That's probably our biggest flex for the podcast is having some, uh, royalty come on. Coach being one of the most famous survivor contestants of all time. And Todd being, uh, former winner, uh, as well.

Rob Valincius: That's, that's, I mean, dude, that's, that's pretty badass, man. I can't say 

Burger: I don't know why Coach came on. I have no fucking idea why Coach came on. I don't know why he did that. Um. Coach is also on season 50 of Survivor Season 50 airs in a couple of weeks and Coach went back on, so he went on Survivor after he went on Burton Berger, so somewhere out in that island and his unconscious b and b was out there. It just fucking blows my mind.

Rob Valincius: Hey,

Burt: is insane. 

Rob Valincius: it's a good time for you to take clips from that show and, and put it 

Burt: Oh, for real.

Burger: that, and guess

Burt: As the backdrop to our talking with him. Yeah.

Burger: Bert won't do that.

Uh, but Todd, uh, Todd, I know why he came on. Uh, we, uh, we paid for him to come on, so, um, that that's okay though. Uh, no, it was,

Burt: That's a chill. Yeah.

Burger: Todd makes a custom Funko pops and we had him, we commissioned him with some of the county money to uh, make some custom Burt and Burger Funko pops and. While he was making it, I was like, yo, you know, shoot or shoot Todd, did you be down to come on our podcast? And he's like, yeah, absolutely. Anytime somebody does business with me, I try to, I make deals with them to go on their podcast all the time. So, um, came on and we had a good time with Mr. Todd Herzog.

So, uh, that one, that one makes sense. He got paid, paid to do that one, but,

Rob Valincius: Yeah. Yeah. Hey, I mean, look, at the end of the day, it's, I mean, you're just shooting this shit, you know? It's not like he's going on fucking NBC with a 

Burger: Yeah. Damn near. Damn near though. 

Rob Valincius: They di close a little more dick jokes. Little, you know, a little more, you know, Burt being gay, but that's okay.

It's all right.

Burger: Yeah.

Rob Valincius: You know.

Burger: Yeah.

Rob Valincius: Um, so, so talk to me boys as we start to wind down here. 'cause I thought it was, it was good to, to catch up on the things we, we chatted about three years ago. Um, what's next for the pod? Man? You guys got anything going on? You got, uh. We, we just funnel in more people. Maybe you gonna do, uh, towns in specific states these days?

or 

Burger: I reset the map every time.

every time. 

Rob Valincius: That's so ingenious, 

Burger: I, I just reset it every time. Um, now I've kind of communicated that we're trying to see which state is gonna have the most counties colored in by the end of the live stream. So if you wanna give your state a chance to win com, which your county and the state is located, and make sure that you're following here on TikTok.

And if we want a bonus chance, go ahead and subscribe to us over, we're on YouTube and then people are like, yo, go fuck on Texas. Let's go. We need more people in here representing Texas. And stupid shit like that.

Rob Valincius: Why are humans so fucking stupid? so fucking stupid. Jesus 

Burger: can't, I don't want anybody to dare feel sorry for me, but I can't tell you how exhausting that is. To say the same thing over and over again. Every couple of minutes for an hour straight is very exhausting to do that, so it

Rob Valincius: I mean, you guys know how it is on Twitch. Man, I always tell people that's why I stopped doing it. 'cause it's just you, you have to be, even though you're not on, like with your face there, you still have to be on dude. Like, and there's there like the persona's there. You can't like deal with the fucking trolls and all the other bullshit.

And you just have to keep going. And sometimes, especially after like a long day where you just wanna fucking murder somebody, it is not fun.

Burger: Yep, yep, yep. No, it's, it's even harder when you don't have your face because now you have to be animated with everything else. So,

uh, but yeah.

Rob Valincius: I think you missed your calling being like a auction person, you know? Go in here, go.

Burger: Yep. Yep. Eggs.

Rob Valincius: So,

Burger: No. Yeah. $2 better now, literally. So,

Rob Valincius: um, 

Burger: But, 

Rob Valincius: yeah, I, yeah. What's next, 

Burger: uh, probably, hopefully nothing. I am so sick of doing this shit with this fucking piece of shit, reminding him to do stuff. Empty promises. He is every guest we've ever gotten

Burt: Oh fuck. Like.

Burger: not by his hand or any other hand, just mine. Uh, things like that. I've tried to make him do AI stuff. He won't do it. And the AI stuff he does bring is fucking stupid. Um, and, uh, I, I hope it, it's gonna be done here soon, but, um, I think it's gonna be, we've done this for six years now, dude. Six

years of uploading once a week for six years, never took a week off. And, um, I'm really, really hoping it comes to an end here, but I, unfortunately, I think it's gonna be another fucking six years before that happens, so.

Burt: Oh

Rob Valincius: you're saying is every three years we need to have an episode to see where we're at. We gotta see if Uncle Scott's still alive, uh, see where Bird is in his, his gay relationships. And, uh, 

Burt: someday I'll ca

Burger: Mm-hmm. 

Burt: I'll be so 

Burger: It's just, it's just crazy because like the last time we talked, I was probably just outta college with my degree and started working and everything like that. And then we talked again and I'm

married and we're looking for a house. I'm gonna start a family here soon and then we're gonna talk again and my kids are going to school and everything.

And I got promoted and Bert is going to be the exact same motherfucker every

goddamn step of the fucking way. 

Burt: This is how you turn an

Uncle Scott, an Uncle Scott's

Rob Valincius: Bert's gonna turn into Uncle Scott. He's gonna be the next Uncle Scott.

Burt: Fuck. I'm waiting for it. Fuck it. I don't even care anymore.

Burger: I said,

Scott got good 

Rob Valincius: warning signs will be 

Burger: he was younger. 

Rob Valincius: if, if, if you go into Bert's house and it's the size of a room and he is got mac and cheese uncovered in his fridge,

Burt: Fuck.

Rob Valincius: we know there's a problem.

Burger: Mm-hmm. 

Burt: on the wall.

Rob Valincius: In semen

Burger: Or Mac and

Burt: Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

Oh God. Both. 

Rob Valincius: Jesus Christ. Well, look, look, boys, it was a, it was a pleasure getting, getting you guys back on the show. Uh, plug yourselves away. Whatever channels and shit. You wanna, you wanna 

Burger: All right. You ready for this, Rob? Go ahead. Burt,

Burt: How did I know this is gonna happen?

Burger: look at him sitting up

in his fucking chair and everything. Literally can hear the

squeaking 

Burt: I know you can hear all the 

Rob Valincius: shit.

Burt: Yeah.

Burger: our grandma's fucking chair that she gave you. 

Burt: this is an experience. Okay. Okay. So we have a podcast. We upload every Thursday night on YouTube, Spotify, and fucking Everywhere. And we stream Mondays and Wednesdays, nine ish pm nine 30. Fuck, I don't even know.

On Twitch. Twitch TV slash Burt and Burger.

Burger: All right

everybody. Thank you so much, Rob. We're happy to be here. If you wanna check out our

socials, you can find us at Buren Berger. That's

Burt: It's Burton Berger everywhere.

Burger: You can find us on YouTube, Spotify, Twitter, Instagram,

really anywhere you get your socials are, or your podcast. And yeah, as Burt was saying.

Every Monday and Wednesday at 9:30 PM EST, you can find us streaming some stupid fucking video game that Bert likes that nobody else likes. So make sure, uh,

you, uh, you check us out then and again, man, thank you, uh, so much for having us on. This has been a very blessed opportunity. I was wondering how you were doing in your hot wife and everything, and,

uh, everything, uh, everything's going good it sounds like.

So thank you for that

Rob Valincius: Yeah, listen, it was a pleasure, boys. Uh, uh, I'm going, I'm going to, uh, time this for three years and, uh, we'll see where we're all at. If I'm still alive, you know what I'll do for you guys on my deathbed, if I die within the next three years, I will record

Burger: Give us your wife. 

Rob Valincius: of myself.

Burt: Oh God.

Rob Valincius: It's a shame. Bird's too gay for 

Burt: my God. 

Rob Valincius: um. Anyway, my podcast is Drink Clock Pod on all socials, drink clock podcast, wherever you listen to podcasts. And, uh, this excellent episode will be up before you know it. And boys, you have a great rest 

Burger: Yep, you too. Thanks for having

us again, man. It was a pleasure as always.

Outro Music